What is Important?

by Birth Without Fear on June 21, 2011

We’ve all heard it and said it…’it goes too fast’. Also, ‘life is too short’. Do we act on those statements though? Do we realize the impact and consequences of what we decide is important today?

Our family has grown in size very rapidly and I have found myself missing the laid back mama I once was (just a few years ago). I stress more about the house, what others think and appearances. This only causes anxiety and frustration. This post is for me as much as anyone else. Let me explain the rest in pictures.

What’s more important?

Catching moments like this…

Messy eating kids

Sure there may be food all over your child, the high chair, you, and the walls, but it makes for a dang cute picture and is better than this…

Yes, very orderly. Might even have some threats to make sure they finish that food. Push that plate up, use your fork, don’t make a mess!

Or how about kids making memories…

Instead of being told constantly to be quiet, sit still, don’t talk…

You know what? Let your kids enjoy this…

kids playing soccer in mud

That’s what these are for…

kid, bubble bath

Because isn’t this what’s really the most important thing…

Family

Family ♥

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Ophelia June 21, 2011 at 1:34 am

LOVE this & could not agree more. When my mom comes over & my kids are half naked (or naked) and I get that disapproving look…I have to chuckle. Who are they hurting? And if you don’t like nudity, then maybe my house isn’t the right pitstop for you. I get grief over all kind of things from the fact that my 4 yr old son has butt length hair to what time they go to bed, but I DO believe that this time is short & I do what makes everyone in MY family the happiest & meets as many of the individual needs as I can. I am not superwoman, but I CAN try my best to allow expression & creative freedom & teach them to live in the moment as much as you can. I love the pictures & your celebration of not being what others want me to be as a mom – but rather being who my children (and my husband AND myself) need me to be in order to have the happiest family we can have. I think living any other way is cheating EVERYONE involved! And yes I have been known to go grocery shopping in a Halloween costume in February because my 4 yr old begged that we could all go to the store as superheros. You DO only live once & they get ONE childhood. I want them to remember me (when they look back at this time in their lives) as fun & spontaneous & loving & free from having to “keep up appearance”. When they grow up though – I think if I go back to work I will have to look out of town for employment as everyone around here likely thinks I’ve lost my marbles since changing my name to momma. <3

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Sunshine June 21, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I LOVE that you went to the store dressed as a super hero! I’m not a mommy yet, or even pregnant. My husband and I are planning to start a family soon, we are adamant about home birth, and I like to do my research… so that’s why I am here. I love the BWF posts but almost as much I love reading the comments. I feel so fortunate to have this wealth of knowledge available from some many loving mommas with tons of experiences and fun (and scary) stories!! Thanks!!

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Victoria Renee Newell July 18, 2011 at 11:18 pm

That is so wonderful!!! :D

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Deirdre June 21, 2011 at 10:03 am

As usual you bring tears to my eyes!! You’re absolutely 100% correct. I could certainly take a lesson away from this. Thank you!!

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La Mama Boheme June 21, 2011 at 10:16 am

Ophelia – I think I love you lol. All those disapproving looks and heavy sighs from strangers or , yes, even family members… they are all worth it because my kids love life. That is THE most important lesson. If they learn how to tie their own shoes or sort their colors or eat sitting at the table, I could care less, so long as they continue to want to smell every flower, examine every insect, and talk to every new person they meet (weather they are wearing shoes during all this or not!)

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Lauren June 21, 2011 at 11:48 am

My mom harasses me about having the baby in just a diaper on occasion. Sometimes it’s just easier to let her be that way rather than fight her to get dressed, as she is going through that stage where getting dressed is the worst thing ever. Who cares if we spend all day in our jammies playing on the bed? Not me, that’s for sure.

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Mollie November 23, 2011 at 2:06 pm

We’re at a point right now (with an almost 3 year old and a 7.5 month old) to be in our jammies unless we’re going out someplace. Actually, the 3 year old likes to be naked as much as possible-he may start out in jammies but is rarely that way when daddy gets home. :) I feel as long as we have some clean dishes and clean clothes that’s pretty good for now. Occassionly, we’ll have a super productive day where the toddler helps me with chores and we both have fun. Plus my husband is pleasently surprised when he gets home with a semi-clean house. :) But I’ve received comments from my mom too (and she’s tried to talk down about my housekeeping to my husband!) because she worked constantly to keep the house I grew up in (huge!) clean and tidy and I just plain don’t have her organizational skills anyway. A friend of mine who’s a real inspiration to me has 7 kids and helps rremind me this every so often. You do what you can do, have fun, love your family, and don’t stress about the rest. :)

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ashley June 24, 2011 at 11:33 pm

Thank you sooo much for this! This is how I want to raise my children but my husband was raised by authoritarian parents and has adopted much of that parenting style and its so hard to parent how I want w.o fighting w. The hubby over it constantly =[ I’m inspired though! Thank you

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Kate November 23, 2011 at 10:22 pm

someone once told me that if your kids are fed,clean, happy & healthy: then YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT! lol that’s what really matters.

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