The Day I Became a Mom {The story of a Blended Family}

by mamabearbri on June 21, 2013

The day I became a mom is quite different than many other’s birth stories….

I had known that Rick had a son before I even began dating him. I knew that he pretty much took care of him full time with the help of his grandma, and that Ricky’s mom was in and out of the picture. I had also known what an amazing kid he was.

When Rick and I began dating, he asked if I was OK with waiting to meet his son. Of course I was. I understood. I was only 18, he was 27, I wanted to make sure this was going to last before we included anyone else – especially his child. He was being a good father by making sure I was going to stick around before he brought his child into the picture. This made me love him almost instantly. What woman wouldn’t swoon over the idea of a man being a great father?

The day I finally meet Ricky was on Super Bowl Sunday 2003; about a month after Rick and I decided to be exclusive. He was 7 years old. He had the best manners. He even called me “ma’am”. He also met my parents, brother and sister that day, too.

In preparation for our meeting, I went to Target and bought a big Tupperware container, bubbles, crayons, coloring books, some outside balls, and paints. I decorated the box with his name. When he came inside I showed him the box and let him know it was his and it was here for when he came to hang out at my house. He was so excited that I had thought of him!

Later on in the afternoon, he seemed a little bored watching football, so we went for a walk around the block. We brought the bubbles so we could blow them as we walked. We talked about random things at first. And then he said, “Can you promise not to fight with my dad in front of me? I hate when my parents fight. It makes me so nervous.” I almost started crying. How could a child so innocent and sweet even understand all that had happened in his life so far? I stopped blowing the bubbles, turned to look at him, and I promised him whole-heartedly that I would never fight with his dad in front of him. His response was, “great! I really like you.”  “I really like you, too, Ricky,” I said.

That was the day I became a mom.

Rick and I moved in together about a year and a half later. We were married in September of 2008. Ricky was our best man. It seemed fitting. He really was the best man, too. He has been a complete treasure to have in my life. Don’t get me wrong, there are times he can be a “normal” teenager, and do teenager stuff. But, for the most part, he is pretty amazing. I got lucky. I am blessed. He is an amazing son.

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{Ricky and I on my wedding day. He was our best man.}

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{Rick, Ricky and I on our wedding day.}

I call him my son, because that is what I feel he is. He is my son. I may not have carried him in my womb. I may not have birthed him. But he is mine. Having a child does not necessarily make you a parent; raising one does. I have raised him. I have gone to parent/teacher meetings. I have been up with him in the middle of the night while he was sick. I’ve wiped tears and kissed boo-boos. I’ve assisted in helping him navigate teenage-hood, and brought him to adulthood. I’ve watched him grow from a young boy into a handsome, respectful man.

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{Ricky’s Senior Picture}

Now, as I reflect on the last 10 years of our relationship, I am so incredibly proud of the man he has become. He graduated high school this June and turned 18. He will be going to college to earn a degree in early childhood education specializing in special education. He wants to be a special education teacher. He has such a kind, gentle, and caring spirit. He is the most AMAZING big brother to his siblings. He is so helpful and loving.

I couldn’t imagine my life without this boy. He is a part of me. He is so incredible. He is my first child.

I’ve learned so much from him. People may think that is strange. However, as I reflect, I realize he taught me how to love someone unconditionally. He taught me to love like a mother, to think like a mother, and to feel like a mother.

To ReRe: You have filled my heart with so much pride and joy. I have enjoyed watching you grow from a goofy kid to a very handsome young man and I am eager to see where the world will take you. As you embark on this new chapter in life, know that I am always here for you. I will always love you. You will always be my boy. You are the reason I am the mother I am today. I am so incredibly proud of you. I love you so very much.

All of my heart,

“Nana”

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{Ricky holding “P” after she was born}

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{Mother’s Day 2011, Ricky and P}

(photo credit to Jacey Autumn Photography https://www.facebook.com/jaceyautumnphotography?fref=ts )

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{Ricky, P and C}

(Photo credit to Tarah Van Grouw Photography https://www.facebook.com/VanGrouwPhotography?fref=ts )

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{Ricky and P snuggling on the couch}

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{They call him De De because they cannot say Ricky. They love him so much!}

Misc May-June 2013 106-dup

Our most recent family photo

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