I Am Strong {OverComing Judgment}

by mamabearbri on August 26, 2014

I am strong.

I am strong because after 32 weeks of the most beautiful and fulfilling pregnancy a girl could dream, I developed a severe headache that I attributed to annual allergies and headed to work as I had done for the last 6 months.

I am strong because at 32 weeks and 1 day ,I woke up in a panic to find no baby in my womb.

I had gone to sleep and woke my husband as I fell off of our bed and hit our night stand due to an eclamptic seizure, and thanks to my courageous husband, I delivered a strong 3 pound baby boy.

I am strong because after 36 hours of feeling like my body had betrayed me due to my blood pressure staying too high. My husband finally convinced NICU nurses to sneak in my beautiful baby.

I am strong because due to the severe bruising on the side of my body from when I hit my night stand and the bruises on my arm from being too swollen to find a vein, I had to deal with the feeling of judgment from others due to ignorance about eclampsia.

I am strong because I was discharged at 1 week postpartum while a piece of me fought for his life.

I am strong because instead of spending the hours in bed as so many recommended, I spent 20 hour days in the NICU with my little person, praying, reading to him, often unable to hold him.

I am strong because I had to learn to mourn the birth I didn’t get to witness of my son, while celebrating the beautiful, and ultra blessed milestones we were facing as a family.

I am strong because at 25 month old my little boy is a thriving young person with a vibrant passion for life…who enjoys reenacting super hero catch phrases, giving “hooogs to his fwends” and saying “bye to paks”

I am strong because the thing no one ever explained to me was the judgment you would still face as people comment about “how little he is” or “how it was possible for me to not know I was ill”, or even the comments they make to my husband when they ask quietly “are you sure Eclampsia was the only reason?”

Finally, WE are strong because we find our hope in the Lord and after a lot of prayer we are blessed immensely with amazing health, a strong family and the opportunity to be pregnant again! I am currently 5 weeks pregnant and loving every minute!

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