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Tag: Dr. Sears

Intuition of the Modern Woman {Motherhood}

Intuition of the Modern Woman {Motherhood}

“Oftentimes I felt ridiculous giving my seal of approval to what was in reality such a natural thing to do, sort of like reinventing the wheel and extolling its virtues. Had parents’ intuition sunk so low that some strange man had to tell modern women that it was okay to sleep with their babies?” Dr. William Sears

Thank you to Earthside Birth Photography for getting this picture for us and to Ruthie Davis for putting the image together.

Siblings Cosleeping {Part 2: Twins!}

Siblings Cosleeping {Part 2: Twins!}

We recently featured Part 1 of Siblings Cosleeping with great information on the advantages of doing so and how to cosleep safely. We have received many wonderful cosleeping pictures, but noticed there were quite a few sets of twins finding comfort by bedsharing. It would only seem natural, wouldn’t it? After spending their whole life together (thus far) in the womb, it would feel right and safe to continue sharing space and love with each other once earthside!

Let’s hear from some experts and from BWF families with twins and their experiences with cosleeping!

“Our twins (Charlee & Lola) have been co-sleeping with us since the day we brought them home & typically migrate to each other no matter how far apart we put them (sometimes the resulting migrations aren’t so cute).” ~Manda

Erin Tiscareño sayas, “I thought I would contribute pics of my boys to your sibling photos. They have always slept together, and no I can’t get them to separate at 2!”

“Since they were “wombmates” for many months, your babies are used to sleeping together. Newborn specialists have long observed that twins placed together in the same incubator or bassinet while in the hospital tend to breathe better and grow faster. Co-bedding works especially well in the early months.” ~Dr. Sears from Parenting.com

Sent in by Nicole M. of her newborn twins sharing a sleeping space.

Gabby shares this about her twins and their sleeping arrangements, “My twin boys have slept together since they were born. We were given a custom built twin crib with an optional separation in between them. Around 11 months we thought maybe we should separate, for better sleep. They cried for each other the first night. During naps again the next day, bawling. I finally grabbed Jaemon and put him with Dominic and they instantly fell asleep.  I came back in the room to find them like this. They always sleep touching each other now, even at 16 months. They will stay together until they tell us they want to be separated.”

Sent in by Moriah…

More from Dr. Sears, “Try putting one baby next to you and the other in a bedside co-sleeper, a crib-like bed that attaches safely to your bed. Or, if you are a single mother, try putting your babies down to sleep on their backs in your bed and sleeping between them. Most nursing mothers find that co-sleeping gets them more sleep, since they are able to nurse one baby and then quickly roll over and feed the other before both wake up.”

From Australia, Selina’s adorable twins…

Other things to keep in mind:

Getting help from Dad at night with twins is a must. You can assign each other a baby for the night and dad can bottle feed. If that is not what you want, then dad can help get baby to mom and get a baby back to sleep.

Have babies on the same schedule. This may take some tweaking and adjusting, but can be done. Usually one baby will take cues from his/her sibling. If you get babies on the same schedule, you will get more rest yourself…especially if you can nap with them!

Get any help you can during the day. Whether from friends, family or hired help!

Remember, cosleeping and bedhsaring has great benefits through infancy and beyond, when done safely and how it is best for each family!

*First twin picture by Sarah with Capturing Fireflies Photography

The Pregnancy Glow

The Pregnancy Glow

You know what it is, but it’s hard to describe or explain. Maybe pictures would be a better way? OK, maybe I am just looking for a reason to share more awesome maternity pictures with you!

In all seriousness though, the pregnancy glow is real! It isn’t just an old wives tale. From Dr. Sears

“The glow that others notice (though you may not) isn’t just a sentimental old wives’ term. This facial shine actually has a biological basis. The increased volume of blood causes the cheeks to take on an attractive blush, because of the many blood vessels just below the skin’s surface. On top of this redness, the increased secretions of the oil glands give the skin a waxy sheen. The flushed face on many pregnant women is similar to the one non-pregnant people experience when they are excited, cry, or do anything that increases their heart rate (which pregnancy does constantly).”

Here are some pictures showing off that gorgeous glow.

By Earthside Photography

Sarah W. pregnant with her 4th child…

Samantha B. and her painted baby bump…

Rachel is the perfect example of having a pregnant glow in this picture…

beach maternity picture

Leslie embracing her pregnant body…

blue chair

Gorgeous picture of Melena…

maternity picture in the snow

I think Krista’s pictures are perfect to wrap up this post…

The American Pregnancy Association has this to say about our special glow…

“When you are pregnant your body produces 50% more blood, resulting in more blood circulation through your body. This increase in blood circulation causes your face to be brighter. Your body is also producing a fair amount of hormones that cause your oil glands to work in over drive, leaving your face shiny. Both of these things can result in the “pregnancy glow” you have heard of.”

So enjoy it mamas and don’t forget to smile!  “A smile is the best makeup any girl can wear.” ~Marilyn Monroe

*All pictures owned by the photographers or mothers. Please do not use or copy without permission.

Myths and Facts: Spanking

Myths and Facts: Spanking

“When a child hits a child, we call it aggression.
When a child hits an adult, we call it hostility.
When an adult hits an adult, we call it assault.
When an adult hits a child, we call it discipline.”
~Haim G. Ginott

I recently posted about a family who has paddles with their children’s names inscribed on them to use for corporal punishment. The conversation that resulted was very interesting. A few things stuck out and will be addressed here.

Myth: “It happened to me and I turned out fine.”

Fact: If you are completely honest and take a hard, raw look at how corporal punishment effected you psychologically and emotionally, you may find that is not true. There will be lasting effects to this type of discipline. How you react to others, to situations, the way you feel about the world around you, and definitely in how you may parent your own children. Be honest with yourself.

“But in a new study published in Pediatrics, researchers at Tulane University provide the strongest evidence yet that children’s short-term response to spanking may make them act out more in the long run. Of the nearly 2,500 youngsters in the study, those who were spanked more frequently at age 3 were much more likely to be aggressive by age 5.”

“The study, led by community-health-sciences professor Catherine Taylor, was the first to control for a host of issues affecting the mother, such as depression, alcohol and drug use, spousal abuse and even whether she considered abortion while pregnant with the child. After controlling for all these factors — each of which can contribute to a child’s aggression — spanking remained a strong predictor of violent behavior. “The odds of a child being more aggressive at age 5 increased by 50% if he had been spanked more than twice in the month before the study began,” says Taylor.”

Read more here.

 

spanking with love

Myth: “Spanking out of love, instead of anger is different.”

Fact: Hitting is hitting  and feels the same to the child no matter if you have love or anger in your heart.

But, you say, “I don’t spank my child that often or that hard. Most of the time I show him lots of love and gentleness. An occasional swat on the bottom won’t bother him.” This rationalization holds true for some children, but other children remember spanking messages more than nurturing ones. You may have a hug-hit ratio of 100:1 in your home, but you run the risk of your child remembering and being influenced more by the one hit than the 100 hugs, especially if that hit was delivered in anger or unjustly, which happens all too often.  ~Ask Dr. Sears

swatting

Myth: “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” This is in the Bible…it defends spanking!

Fact: Proverbs 13:24 “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” The Hebrew word for rod in this proverb describes a scepter or staff. A scepter was a large ornately carved staff that was a symbol of authority. The first time the word appears is in Genesis 49:10.

John 21:15-17

15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter,
“Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

Feed the babies, the vulnerable lambies… take good care of them. Feed them the Word, feed them the Truth. Nurture my love for them.

16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

Take good CARE of the sheep as they grow. Protect them, guide them, pull them aside if they are wounded or being naughty. CARE for them.

17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?”
He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”

Never stop nourishing my followers with the Word, the Truth. Find them healthy sustenance, lead them to green pastures where they will thrive and grow and be useful.

More on this here.

spanking

Myth: “Corporal punishment teaches respect.”

Fact: It teaches fear and becomes ineffective.

“The reason for this may be that spanking sets up a loop of bad behavior. Corporal punishment instills fear rather than understanding. Even if children stop tantrums when spanked, that doesn’t mean they get why they shouldn’t have been acting up in the first place. What’s more, spanking sets a bad example, teaching children that aggressive behavior is a solution to their parents’ problems.”

“The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) does not endorse spanking under any circumstance. It’s a form of punishment that becomes less effective with repeated use, according to the AAP; it also makes discipline more difficult as the child outgrows it.”

Read more here.

Myth: “Children respond best to pain and disapproval.” (Yes, this was said on our BWF Facebook page).

Fact: Pain and disapproval creates harm…physically, mentally and emotionally.

“What do we say to a guest who forgets her umbrella?

Do we run after her and say, “What is the matter with you? Every time you come to visit you forget something. If it’s not one thing it’s another. Why can’t you be like your sister? When she comes to visit, she knows how to behave. You’re forty-four years old! Will you never learn? I’m not a slave to pick up after you! I bet you’d forget your head if it weren’t attached to your shoulders.” That’s not what we say to a guest. We say “Here’s your umbrella, Alice,” without adding “scatterbrain.”

Parents need to learn to respond to their children as they do to guests.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication

 

Before spanking, swatting or popping your child, think about how this will effect them long term. How each human being will react and be effected by hitting differently. How choosing to use corporal punishment will create resentment, fear and mistrust in your relationship with your child. There are many different parenting styles.  Children need guidance, direction, unconditional love, choices and consequences and consistency. If you try something, don’t give up too soon. Stick it out…it will be worth it.

“By now you should realize that our position on spanking is simple: don’t.”
~Dr. Sears

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