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Intuition of the Modern Woman {Motherhood}

Intuition of the Modern Woman {Motherhood}

“Oftentimes I felt ridiculous giving my seal of approval to what was in reality such a natural thing to do, sort of like reinventing the wheel and extolling its virtues. Had parents’ intuition sunk so low that some strange man had to tell modern women that it was okay to sleep with their babies?” Dr. William Sears

Thank you to Earthside Birth Photography for getting this picture for us and to Ruthie Davis for putting the image together.

A Story of Loss, Determination, and Hope

A Story of Loss, Determination, and Hope

I wanted to share my birth story with you mostly because I’m completely inspired by everything you do and now I feel more prepared than ever to have have my second baby once I get pregnant. {Rebecca Cox}

I got pregnant at 20 with my first baby, I found out while my husband was on a mini deployment (he’s in the US Navy), so instead of sending him an email I decided to wait unit he got home so I could tell him with a scavenger hunt. We were both so thrilled. Almost a month later, 3 days after his birthday, I started having some light spotting. He thought nothing of it, but later that evening I finally got up the courage to take a trip to the emergency room. After several hours of tests and waiting they told me I had a “threatened miscarriage”.

Two days later, I lost the baby. I had never been so devastated. The doctors told me I didn’t have to wait until my hormone levels went down. I wasn’t ready to “try” again but we did the whole “if it happens it happens if it doesn’t it doesn’t”. The doctors also told me if I hadn’t started my period within 28-30 days to take a pregnancy test,  and if it was positive then it was probably residual and that I would have to have D&C done. The thought of a D&C broke my heart even more.

30 days later I still hadn’t started my period. My heart sank the moment that little test said positive. Why would this happen to me?  I wanted to try to heal,  and that didn’t help anything.

After several days of blood work I found out that I was in fact pregnant again. I got pregnant within a few days of having a miscarriage. Shocked is the only word I can use to describe it. After I got out of my first trimester I became more excited and actually got attached to the unborn baby inside my womb.  I then started to make a birth plan, I wanted simple things such as to be able to walk after my water broke, no catheter, no epidural, things that I thought were pretty reasonable considering I was going to be laboring, not them.

Awhile after, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and they told me the baby had low fluid levels so they might have to take her at 30 weeks, I was around 23 weeks pregnant at this time. After fighting with my doctors I finally got them to not take her, no medication for any issue (I don’t believe in medication).

My husband deployed when I was 3 weeks away from my due date going on a 7 month deployment. 2 days after he left I found out the baby was breech. They didn’t give me an option to do anything besides a c-section. Devastated. I was going to have major abdominal  surgery without my husband and there was nothing I could do about it. Being the type of person I am, I reluctantly agreed as long as they would wait until my water broke. They didn’t at first, but luckily the morning I was supposed to go in, my doctor canceled due to too many emergency surgeries. My water broke 2 days later and I had a healthy beautiful baby girl weighing in at 5lbs 13oz.

My recovery was not bad at all. It was physically easier than what I thought it was going to be. Looking back now, I should have stood up for myself, and “demanded” what I wanted for myself and my unborn daughter. 7 months later my husband returned home and we have never been happier. I am strong because I now carry the knowledge to stand up for myself.

Thank you Birth Without Fear, for giving me the knowledge and strength to have my baby my way when the time comes.

Trusting Birth and Trusting Ourselves as Birthing Women

Trusting Birth and Trusting Ourselves as Birthing Women

Birth, pregnancy, intuition, instincts, babyWhen it comes to birthing in our country, there are many different opinions on what is safest for mom and baby. What it comes down to is, there is not one blanket right answer. Yes, most of the time, the more unhindered the birth, the safer it is. However, every mom, pregnancy and baby are different. Each woman needs to choose the tests, interventions and place of birth that makes her feel the most comfortable and safe. The best way for this to happen is each woman being educated and informed of her choices. Making decisions for her and her baby should be made from a place of trusting not only birth, but trusting herself. This takes faith, strength and support.

I want to share a story I first heard when watching The Pursuit of Happiness. This is my friend Liz’s version.

There is a horrible storm and an entire city is flooded. A man of great faith knows that God will save him. As the water starts to fill his house, rescuers in a big truck knock on his door, “The city is being evacuated, come get in the truck.” “No,” he says, “God will save me.” Soon the water fills the first floor of his house and he climbs up and stands on his upper-level porch. Rescuers come by on a boat, “We’re here to save you, get in the boat!” “No”, he says, “God will save me!” The boat leaves. Soon he is standing on his roof, and the water is almost to the top. A helicopter comes to get him. “No!” he yells, “God will save me!” Soon he is overcome by the flood and drowns. He meets God in heaven and says “God! I believed in you, why didn’t you save me?” God replied, “I tried! I sent a truck, a boat and a helicopter!”

I do believe in God and I also believe he gave the gift of having instincts and intuition and knowing when I need help or to check things out. If I believe in God, would I not do those things? Believing in God doesn’t mean you just sit back and say ‘oh everything will be fine’. It means I have faith to follow the promptings of the Spirit and do what those promptings/my intuition tells me!

I trust birth more than most people I know. Birth Without Fear is about helping women educate themselves, letting women know they have choices and helping women overcome fears so they can trust birth. With knowledge comes responsibility. Trusting birth is very important, but of equal importance is women trusting themselves! This can go either way. If a woman feels tests in pregnancy are not right for her, she should be listened to. If she educates herself and feels a VBAC is more safe than a repeat cesarean, she should be supported in this. If a woman doesn’t want vaginal exams, no one should come near her vagina. If a woman knows in her gut that being induced early for whatever reasons she is being told is unsafe for her unborn child, that must be respected.

On the other side, if a woman will know she will feel reassured everything is OK if she hears baby’s heartbeat, then she should hear it. If she feels something is not quite right and wants an ultrasound, she should get one. If a woman feels that anything at all is off or not OK, she should get it checked out, be listened to and supported. See, it goes both ways.

Women are criticized for having too many interventions or not enough. There has to be a middle ground. Birthing Without Fear means a woman is educated and knows her choices. It also means she follows HER INTUITION and what is right for HER. It is her body, her baby, her birth. Every mama is on her own journey, every pregnancy, birth and baby are different. If a mama is making informed choices and listening to her intuition, who are we to judge? That is when we have compassion, respect and give support.

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