When my oldest was a year old, a friend told me that my baby and I couldn’t be as bonded as her and her baby because we bottlefed and she breastfed. I wasn’t necessarily offended, as I was confused. I had a very deep bond with my baby and was madly in love her, so how could she claim that? To this day my daughter and I have a special connection.

What pretentious, judgmental bullshit that was. It is absolutely ridiculous when mothers judge each other over breastfeeding and bottlefeeding (it goes both ways). I am not talking about educating or sharing information, but flat out arguing, being snobby, gossiping, and being hateful. If a baby is fed and everyone is happy, keep your mouth shut and fingers off the keyboard.

My goodness ladies, there are bigger problems! Like hungry babies fucking dying. If you are so upset that you need to tear another mother down, get on a damn plane and fly somewhere and nurse those babies. Or feed people in your community because there are starving children right in your neighborhood!

You don’t think women who feed their babies formula know breast is best? No shit. But you know what? You aren’t living their life. You aren’t dealing with their past abuse issues, or postpartum depression and anxiety, or cracked bleeding nipples, or whatever else led to their choice.

A woman wants to cover or not when she nurses, that’s her choice. She wants to nurse her two or three year old, not your problem.

NEWS FLASH: You don’t have to always share your opinions. <— Read it again. Wish I realized that in my 20’s.

So, let me tell you about these two pictures.

january harshe fed is best

Both are same mom, same baby, same day. Both are of a mom who loves her baby with every fiber of her being. Both are of a baby who is loved, fed, sheltered, and adored. Both are of a mom and baby bonding. Both have a baby’s tummy getting full. Both are of a mom doing what she feels best at the given time. There are more similarities than differences.

Mamas, you do you and let others be them without your opinions. Breastfeed without fear, bottle-feed without fear, pump without fear, just feed those babies! We are all in the trenches of motherhood together and we are all going through our own struggles and journeys. Remember when we take a stand to take back postpartum, we also embrace variations of normal. So be a nice fucking human and raise kind people, because that’s what our babies need.

Ordinary is Amazing, Even in Motherhood

August 24, 2016

Motherhood is beautiful, worth it, amazing, the most joy you’ll ever know, and the most important work you’ll ever do. Isn’t that cliche? Yet it’s 100% true. It’s also hard. Really fucking hard. Some days you nail it. Meet all your expectations. Even the hardest ones. Perfect non-GMO all organic meals served in BPA-free bento […]

Read the full article →

Overcoming Triploidy, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, & Chemo for a Natural Childbirth

August 23, 2016

My second pregnancy was anything but ‘normal.’ Unlike my first pregnancy, conceiving our second baby took several months – eight to be exact. But much like my first, I had planned on delivering via natural birth at a birthing center. My husband and I had a wonderful experience with our first daughter delivering naturally, and […]

Read the full article →

Positive Support for Pregnant Mamas with Breech Babies

August 23, 2016

I have written before how a breech baby is another variation of normal. Having a breech presentation does not mean you automatically need to schedule a c-section. Remember, our babies are wise and know just how they need to be for birth. Most of the time, babies will turn, even late in pregnancy and labor!!!  […]

Read the full article →

The Tree of Life aka the Naked Placenta

August 22, 2016

I was once banned from posting on the Birth Without Fear Facebook page and personally on Facebook for the placenta picture below. I was also warned that next time, pages and profiles might be deleted. There is nothing stating in any Facebook policies that organs are violating any rules. We all know there are many obscene pictures that do violate policies […]

Read the full article →

33 Comments to Never Make to a Pregnant Woman

August 19, 2016

After recently reposting 10 Stupid Things You Never Want to Say to a Pregnant Mama on Facebook, we received a flood of comments of more stupid things you never want to say to a pregnant mama. If you are pregnant, pass this on to all the non-pregnant people in your life. It just might save their […]

Read the full article →

Riding the Waves – The Birth Story of Hailey Faith Part 2

August 17, 2016

To read Part One of Hailey Faith’s birth story, click here.  All of the sudden my body began pushing and I could hear myself sounding much more deep and guttural than before, almost angry. I remarked to the room that it felt like throwing up and it was the weirdest sensation ever. It’s so odd […]

Read the full article →

Riding the Waves – The Birth Story of Hailey Faith Part 1

August 16, 2016

*It will be helpful to know that Amelia was born via unplanned c-section 22 months before I had Hailey. Amelia’s birth was traumatic to me for many reasons including copious unnecessary medical interventions and complications with anesthesia during my surgery. Hailey’s birth was a planned VBAC, vaginal birth after c-section. I woke up at 3:30am, […]

Read the full article →

A Blood Clot, Zika, and High Risk Natural Hospital Birth

August 15, 2016

Three years ago I was traumatized during my son’s birth and it took me a long time to be ready for another baby. When we found out we were pregnant again we were excited and ready to give natural birth another shot. When I was 21 weeks pregnant we moved to Tonga (in the South […]

Read the full article →