[Trigger warning: This post contains loss]
A heartfelt thank you to Abby, for sharing your stories with us xxx
In 2008 I was thrilled that after 3 years I was finally pregnant. My excitement grew when I had my first ultrasound and found out I had twins, although it was also tainted with fear. I have a congenital heart condition and had gotten pregnant against the advice of medical professionals… How would my body cope with the strain of twins?
I was heavily monitored from about 16 weeks with frequent checks on my heart, the babies hearts and their general growth. All was going well until 19 weeks where I was then told I would be admitted to have a cervical stitch as my cervix was short, thin and funnelling. I was basically told if I didn’t have the stitch my babies would be born in the next week or so. Terrified I went to theatre and had a spinal block while they stitched my cervix closed. A few days later I was out of hospital and recovering nicely at home expecting that I still had a while to go before I’d meet my babies…
Only 4 weeks later I started cramping which turned into severe pain. At only 23wks I was in labour. No medication would stop the labour, but I managed to hold on til 24+2wks before my babies were born via c-section due to breech presentation. The c-section went really well – my beautiful firstborn son was brought into the world weighing a tiny 784gms, but showing signs of life. My son was taken over to a table to be worked on while Drs tried to get baby number 2 out. My 2nd son was transverse so after having a vertical incision in my uterus they finally got him out. Twin 2 was a tiny 767gms and he too was taken away to be worked on… We named our tiny miracles Taite and Seth.
Although I was awake I didn’t get to see my sons until some 3 hours later when I was finally able to be taken to the nursery. Unfortunately I was only able to see Seth, as Taite’s room had a sterile procedure happening.. I was very anxious and upset, but was so amazed by this tiny little person that was mine.. I loved Seth instantly and couldn’t wait to meet Taite. It wasn’t until the next day I met my other tiny miracle… Instant love!! It was so hard only being able to touch my babies through the isolette.
[Taite on the day he was born]
[Seth day of birth]
I stayed in the coronary care ward so they could monitor how my heart was coping with the stress of the birth. My heart was fine and I moved the maternity ward after only 2 days.
Being born at only 24wks, my sons had many medical problems. One thing was certain though, they had an amazing twin connection and did most things together. I watched my sons fight for life. Unfortunately they both had too much and they died peacefully together at 12 days old with their Mummy and Daddy. I was heartbroken and had no idea how I’d ever smile again…
[My first twin cuddle, the day they passed, 12 days old]
[My babies at peace, 12 days old]
2011 brought a reason to smile when saw those precious 2 lines appear. I was finally pregnant again after another 3 years. This time, there was only one baby and medical professionals discussed how this could change the outcome. After a few scares of bleeding in the first trimester, I then had a stitch placed at 14wks, things looked positive and I settled in for what I’d hoped was going to be a long pregnancy. 19wk scan showed another complication though, I had placenta previa.. I was terrified of birthing another premmy, but tried to relax and rest as much as possible. I had progesterone pessaries from 16wks and I knew that there was nothing else I could do to prevent another prem birth if that’s what was to happen. When I reached 24+2wks I breathed with relief.. I was still pregnant! Then it happened, at 25+3 wks I woke up soaked in blood..I went straight to hospital and was monitored. Bub was doing well and my bleeding slowed. The stitch was holding my cervix together nicely so I set my pregnancy goal for 28wks. Just 3 more weeks I begged bubba to stay in for.
It was only 2 days later when I had more haemorrhages and my contractions turned from Braxton hicks to the real thing. A blood transfusion was ordered for me and theatre was arranged. The Obstetricians didn’t want me to labour as I had a previous classical (vertical) incision with my last c section. All of a sudden I was screaming that I had to push. We were on our way to theatre but bub didn’t want to wait. My waters broke with a huge gush, nurses checked bubs presentation and told me to push this baby out. I was terrified. The baby’s father hadn’t arrived yet and I was on my own. I was so scared of having another premmy I didn’t want to do this.. Eventually I succumbed to the contractions and went with it. I pushed my perfect 3rd son into the world and got to hear his cry and touch him before he was taken away to be worked on. I named him Jett, he was my biggest baby at 874gms.
[The day of Jett’s birth: 25w 5d]
Soon after I felt I had lost a large amount of blood. The Drs explained they couldn’t get the placenta out and I was bleeding. They gave me an epidural so they could take me to theatre. I lost more and more blood. I was taken into theatre. By this time I had bled so much my body lost all clotting capabilities and I was bleeding out fast. I was awake as I heard Drs discuss the urgency of the situation..They were trying to gain IV access but my blood pressure was so low they were having trouble. I was so scared, I begged them to knock me out. They didn’t have time, they had to gain IV access and try to get blood into me as fast as it was coming out. I asked if I was going to die they responded “We are doing all we can”…
3 hours later I was stable.. I had vaginal packing to prevent anymore haemorrhaging and 5 IV access lines. 1 in each arm, 1 in each groin and 1 in my foot. I had plenty of bruising and mental trauma. That afternoon I was finally taken to see my son. I don’t really remember much of it, I was still very unwell, but I know, just like with his brothers I fell instantly in love…
[First cuddle, 16 days old]
Born at 25wks, Jett still faced many issues from being a prem. We were lucky this time though and after 157 days (just over 5 months) I took my Earthside miracle home. He is now 19 months old and developing beautifully. He is small for his age and is moderately hearing impaired, but apart from that you would never know the trauma we went through to get him home… Jett is amazing and I strongly believe that we are both alive today because we had our very own guardian angels Taite and Seth.
[First breastfeed at 135 days old]
[1st birthday – photo by atomicbutterfly photography]
[Still Boobing at 18 months!]
Abby has also shared her complete journey on two blogs: www.taiteandseth.blogspot.com and www.mybabybutton.blogspot.com
Recommended Reading
11 Wicked Blog Posts {11/5-11/10}
HBA3C with Inverted ‘T’ Scar
Loving My Body {One Scar at a Time}
I Am Strong {Loss, PTSD, and Healing}
Homebirth of a Rainbow Baby
Three Breech Births {One Cesarean And Two VBACs}
I Am Strong because {A story of multiple losses to get to the Rainbow}- Military and Loss {I Am Strong}
A Story of Loss, Determination, and Hope
Rainbow Baby After Loss of Twins…Special Moments Captured
26 Comments
Erin
I’m crying right now. I’m so so happy that your son is doing so well. My own son was born 8 weeks prematurely and it was such a traumatic experience. Thanks so much for sharing your story!
Jen
Thank you for sharing your story. So sorry for the loss of your two precious boys. Jett is adorable and so big!
Jenny
Thank you for sharing your story and beautiful photos. Very moving X x
Heidi
Beautiful. Simply beautiful. Loved the nursing pictures. I am sorry for your loss of your boys, but you will meet them again in Heaven!
Ragavati
Thank you for sharing. You are amazing. @)–>——-
melissa bollinger
your story is amazing I am sorry to here about your first birth I too went into labor at 24wk with a complete placental abruption thank fully my little girl survived 1lb 6oz 12 1/2 in long she had a brain bleed septiciemia? 7 times a heart murrmur and one nurse contaminated her umbilical iv with e-coli but with the grace of god after 114 day she came home she is now 10 with only severe adha and epilepsy as well as some eye problems my second child was also a preemie born at 33wks 3lb 4 oz we had to wait 3 wks for her to come home she is now 5 and healthy I am pregnant with my 3rd and am 24wks now so I am being very cautious we didn’t know I was pregnant until I was 2 1/2 month as the blood test were wrong they are trying to get my insurance to pay for the progesterone shots. I know having a preemie can be very scary and difficult if you ever need to talk to some one please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Hereni
Thank you for sharing your story.
Dana
Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartwarming journey. I am so sorry for your loss <3
Irena
Thanks for sharing your story Abby. Much love to you, your angels and Jett xoxo
Jenna
What an amazing and beautiful story. The photos of your sons are so touching and sweet. The breast feeding photos really got me, such a sweet bond.
Victoria
Thank you for sharing your story. So much love and many prayers to you and your sweet blessing.
MaryLynn
Thank you for putting your story out there. I wish it was available when I had my son and am sure it will benifit moms of mreemie. I was not able to carry for 13 years. I then had my son at 25 weeks, 1 lb 10 oz. we went through lots of adventures with him. I am proud to say my goft from GOD is now 20 years old and an Eagle Scout and works in a work program in the community. My 2nd. son was 3 weeks early at 7lb. 14oz. Your a role model, Your Jett is so cute. Love the boob feeding. Be blessed as you watch him grow. Warning It goes so fast…..!
Esther
Your sons are all gorgeous. Thank you for sharing your story, I bet your little rainbow baby’s big brothers were spurring him on as he gained strength and thrived.
Love to all of you. X
Jenny
SO lovely! I appreciate your story so much, your loss, and your courage to go on 🙂 You are a gem and no doubt an amazing mother! Blessings on your big, sweet boy Jett 🙂
Cindy B
So sorry for your loss… so glad for your little Jett. What a beautiful love story.
luna
Wonderful ending. So glad you survived. Good luck.
diane
Thank you for your courage. Jett is so handsome and big. You got your miracle baby. Being a mother is a blessing.
Becs
This is the most BEAUTIFUL and touching story. You should write a book. You had me in tears and smiling throughout the entire read! <3 Thank you for sharing!
DIANA DOYLEY
Thank you for sharing your story!!! my story is similar to yours after near 6 years of dealing with infertility 3 fail IVF we finally got pregnant it was twins we were exited but scare at the same time my pregnancy went well until I hit 22 weeks ,I cervix was short when I was 23.5 weeks I went into labor my 2 boys were alive for 2 days and we were devastated it was 8 months ago is like my life was finished I went into a deep depression I’m just staring to feel little better I’m 35 years old and my husband is 32 we were told we have to wait minimum a year before we can try again this coming January 2014 will be one year we are going to try again but I’m terrified of having the same outcome again even thou we are planning in inserting just one embryo this time there is not guaranty. Im so glad things work out good for you and you baby I hope one day I can share my success story like you. Hugs
DIANA.
Cat
Thank you for sharing your story!!! My pregnancy went well
until I hit 22.5 weeks, I woke up to bleeding, no crmaping, just bleeding.
When I got to the hospital we found out they my cervix
was short and I was already 4cm dilated. My baby boy did not make it.
It’s been 4 months and everyday I miss him, but trying to stay strong and have hope.
I’m 38 years old and husband is 40, this was our first pregancy and we
would like to try again and hopefully will be able to carry longer with a cervix stitch.
Katie Shealer
I had my twin daughters at 26 weeks. My oldest weighed only 1lb 3oz and my youngest weighed 0lbs 13.3oz. They both spent 5 months in the nicu. It was an emotional roller coaster. There were many complications but they made it. Miracles happen.
angela
thank you ohh so much for sharing your story. I myself was preg with twin girls and had them when I was about 5 months so around 23 weeks. they survived for an hour only. I am thankful for you it shows me that it is ok to talk about them
AmeliaHope
I am so sorry for your loss. It’s the worst feeling in the world to lose your babies. God did bless you with Jett.. You’re an inspiration to those of us who have been down this road and still want to believe in a happy ending.
Nashi Baby
Thank you so much for sharing your stories of your preemie babies. I had tears reading your story from the heartbreak of losing your little little angels but so pleased for you for the arrival of your little Jett. xx
Francesca
I managed to hold back the tears until the very end of this article. Tragic to lose your first babies, and I cannot imagine the fear of going into premature labour a second time. But what a relief little Jett pulled through- a true fighter! Much love to your family both present and passed xx
nicu mama
https://youtu.be/CNc9SRWuLTs
I had a premature baby born at 25wk .. I’m trying to raise awareness and share my story. I’m so sorry to hear the loss of your children ….. but remember that they are always lookin down at you and love you