A Midwifery Student’s Birth Without Fear {With Pictures}

I got pregnant with my first son when I was just about 18. I really wanted to give birth at the out of hospital birth center that a lot of my friends were giving birth at, but my mom and other friends convinced me it was best to have my first at the hospital, in case anything went wrong.

I got high blood pressure during my pregnancy and was constantly being tested for PIH. My labs kept coming back normal, but my blood pressure kept getting higher and higher. At 34 weeks I woke up with extremely swollen ankles and a terrible migraine. I went to the hospital and after being monitored for a while the nurse came into my hospital room and said “well… you’re gonna have a baby tonight.”

My doctor decided I needed to be induced. My blood pressure was up to 201/99. The nurse gave me a shot in my butt, and I apologized for wearing my ugly undies and asked if she has to use bigger needles for bigger butts. She said yes! HA! I loved my nurse. Her name was Wendy. She was so sweet!

I was given an IV, and while they were trying to insert it, I asked if that’s where I got the epidural. They said “nope, you’re not even in labor yet sweetie, you can get it when you feel like you really need it.”

They put me on Labetalol and magnesium, and some other stuff to keep my blood pressure down. The magnesium made me so loopy. I was cracking jokes left and right, and I think I may have even been hallucinating a tad, because Wendy was glowing at one point.

They induced me with the little pill that gets shoved up me (can’t think of the name!), and I sort of labored for about 8 hours. They came in and said my labor pattern wasn’t what they wanted to see, so they gave me the pitocin. The second they got the pitocin going, the contractions really started getting hard. Then the on call doctor broke my water and that made it even worse.

I labored for several hours, until about 8cm, and then the nurse asked me if I wanted the epidural because I had to get it now or never. I didn’t really feel like I needed it, but I got it anyways. I was able to sleep after getting it. Then, I felt like I had to pee. My nurse checked me and sure enough it was the baby’s head.

They rushed me to the operating room because I was only 34 weeks along and baby and I were both high risk, and the operating room was right next to the NICU. There wasn’t a doctor in the building at this point, so the nurses made me lie on my side and cross my legs and not push.

I had to push so bad, my body started convulsing and my teeth were chattering. My doctor finally got there after 20 minutes and said “sorry I missed it!” And the nurses said “You didn’t miss it! She needs to push!” So he got in his sterile outfit and told me to “bear down.”

I asked “WHAT IS BEAR DOWN!?” And everyone in the room screamed “PUSH!” My boyfriend at the time was holding one leg and my mom was holding the other. I gave one push and there was his head. My boyfriend said “he has hair!” and I started balling.

I pushed 1 or 2 more times and he was out. They put him on my chest, had dad cut the cord, and then rushed him off the NICU. I didn’t see him till 6 hours later, because of my epidural. They didn’t tell me that when I got it, I was so angry.

After he was home I started researching whether or not to vaccinate him, and during my research I learned a lot about out of hospital births and using midwives. Right then it clicked in my head “I’m supposed to be a midwife!” So I started an apprenticeship through the out of hospital birth center I originally wanted to have my baby at. Working there only 2 months, I got baby fever BAD! I soon got pregnant again.

This time around I used the midwife I had been apprenticing under and she helped me keep my blood pressure under control with diet and herbs. I had a fairly easy pregnancy till about 30 weeks when I started to have preterm labor. My midwife was able to stop it, but I was put on bedrest. It wasn’t easy with an almost 2 year old running around!

After about 4 weeks of bed rest I was able to slowly add more and more activity to my day. It was great being able to cook and clean again! At 36 weeks my husband (and baby daddy of first) and I got all the stuff we’d need for our homebirth. We rented a birth tub and got everything ready.

When I was 37 weeks I thought I was in labor, so my midwife came over and checked me and I was 4cm dilated. But my contractions would stop when I stopped moving. So she had me just rest and wait until they got real. I went 2 more weeks having these what I called “fake contractions.” However, they weren’t fake at all.

At my 39 week visit, I had my midwife check me, and I was 9cm dilated and 70% effaced. I asked her to strip my membranes and she did. As I was leaving my appointment around 5pm, I said to her and the other midwives that would be at my birth “I bet we’ll have a baby by 8 tonight.”

We left and went to Trader Joe’s to get some pizza dough to make calzones that night. We got home and I was cooking up some sausage and all of a sudden I got such a bad contraction, I hunched over and said a slew of swear words. Then my husband took over cooking.

I went to the bathroom and had bloody show. I texted my midwife and she said “your birth team is on the way!” And about 10 minutes later the photographer showed up! I knew the photographer never gets there until the last few hours, so I figured my midwife must have thought I was close.

Once the birth team got there I kept telling them that it was fake labor and it would stop, and that they should go home. But I kept having this weird pain in my butt. They got the tub filled and told me I could get in, so I did. But once I got in I had to go poop SO BAD.

My midwife told me to just poop in the tub, but I know how bad that can smell, so I told her I wanted to get on the toilet. But I was stuck. I literally was in such hard labor I couldn’t get out of the tub. I was pissed. And I was in denial that I was in labor. Then I just kept having this urge to poop. Then it clicked in my midwifery-student mind “I don’t have to poop, I have to push!!!” So I said “I’M PUSHING!” I pushed for about 10 minutes and then my water broke and I screamed “ring of fire! RING OF FIRE!”

My midwife had me stop pushing because she knew how badly I didn’t want to tear. She supported my perineum and had me breath and hum through the contractions. My body literally just so slowly pushed him out. My mom, midwife and fellow midwifery student helped to catch him. I was so awesome! I asked if it was a boy or girl and they couldn’t see, so I reached my hand down and felt a handful of balls and told everyone it was another boy! It was amazing!

My little sister, and my older son were also there. There were 3 midwives, a student midwife, and the photographer! It was so amazing. I still can’t believe I did it! Next time around I don’t think I’ll use the birth tub though! I hated that thing!

He was born at 8:32, 32 minutes after I guessed he’d be out. My labor lasted 2 hours! After baby was out, I delivered my placenta, and it was literally gigantic. We weighed it, it was 1.5lbs! Baby weighed 8.5lbs and was 22 ½ inches long. Much bigger than my preemie 6 lb baby!

I’m so grateful for the birth stories that BWF posts, it helped me to be more confident in myself. I am now 2 ½ months postpartum, exclusively breastfeeding and feel so strong for birthing without fear! I went into labor excited, not scared! Thank you, Birth Without Fear, for all you do!