Birthing My Beautiful Twin Girls {Premature Cesarean Birth}

by Birth Without Fear on April 18, 2013

My name is Katherine and this is my story of birthing my beautiful twin girls.

I was only 18 a month before I fell pregnant with them. From 2 weeks on I was horrendously sick, right up until I was roughly 24 weeks.

When I was 28 weeks pregnant with them, I was diagnosed with Cholostasis. They put me on the Urso (a medication) but the itching was horrible. Then when I went in for my 30 week scan I was told pretty much then and there that my little Sophie was breech and she was at the bottom and unless they changed I wouldn’t have a hope in having a natural. That same day I was told neither of them were growing… in fact, losing weight.

I was to go in for an appointment the week after. That appointment was the start of my horrendous last few weeks of pregnancy.

I was admitted to hospital with pre eclampsia and anemia. While anemia is pretty common, I was getting pretty sick with the pre eclampsia. I just wanted to go home. I stayed in for roughly five days when they finally let me go home.

I was home one night… when the next morning I woke up with horrendous back pain and pain across my tummy… I thought I was in labour! So back to the hospital I went. I was readmitted and put on iron tablets, a higher dose of Urso and about 3 different blood pressure medications. I was told I would be in hospital until I gave birth.

As I was having twins and they were quite small, I was told they would be in Neonatal care for a little bit. About a week and a half after being readmitted, I proceeded to have my tour of the neonatal ward. Half way there I collapsed.

I don’t really remember much until I was down in the delivery ward… where they decided they were going to prep me for surgery. They put me on magnesium sulphate through an old drip which was excruciating, some of the worst pain I’ve felt in my life, so they literally had to rip it out and start all over again. They wanted to put a catheter in. I’ve never sobbed so much in my life, at the thought of getting one. Anyone would have thought that I was in natural labour!

Right up until this stage I was alone, all alone. A bit after that, my partners mum walked into the room… I was so terrified. I was so scared of surgery, so scared of anaesthetic … and so, so scared… of finally being a mother.

When all my drips were in, my fluids were up and my catheter inserted they wheeled me down to theatre with my mother in law and father in law.

They attempted to give me an epidural… they missed 8 times and on the ninth, as much as I wanted to be awake, I gave in. My body couldn’t cope… I was a mess… When finally they said, we are going to put you under, I broke down. What if I could feel the surgery? What if something happened? What if I didn’t wake up? As my mother in law was walked in, she and I both in tears as I was laid on the operating table, my arms literally pinned down. I fought the anaesthetic as much as I could. I could feel the burning sensation from the toes up.

I woke up in Intensive Care.

mother after general anesthetic cesarean

It was the scariest thing I’d experienced. All I wanted was to see my babies, but I wasn’t allowed too… I saw photos of my partner’s parent’s phone and even then I vaguely remember them as I was so out of it.

The next day, around lunch time… one of the neonatal nurses brought down four photos of my babies, two of each. My little Sophie and my little Clarabelle.

premmie twin

premmie twin

It was so, so hard, because all I had were pictures. I couldn’t hold them. Later on that night, about 8pm, I was finally being told I was going back to my room in maternity. But I didn’t want that, I WANTED to see my children.

So after much argument that I was way too sick, they wheeled my bed into the Neonatal care centre and brought my tiny babies that were born at 33 weeks and 4 days out to me in their humidity cribs. I was only just barley allowed to touch them. I just wanted to hold them. It hurt so much to yearn for something I wasn’t allowed.

meeting daughter for the first time

mother meets twin daughter

twin cesarean birth

Later on that night, a nurse came into me and told me that if I woke up during the night, buzz them and they would help me hand express. I woke around 3, so I called. The nurse mentioned if I could get out of bed she would take me to them. I was so determined… as much pain as I was in. I was wheeled to them and I finally got to hold them, my little Sophie Anastasia and Clarabelle Maree.

Although they were in hospital for another 23 days, the day I brought them home was the best day of my life…

I hated the way I gave birth… But I’d do it again for my children. Even though it brings tears to my eyes even typing this.

twin girls at hope

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Jo Luke April 20, 2013 at 7:11 am

Your babies are beautiful. <3

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Tarin Chartier April 20, 2013 at 2:13 pm

I completely cried reading this! I waited for 10 days before I could hold my baby and it was so painful to just be able to touch him for a moment, I wanted to nurse him! He was only 1 pound 11 ounces and so fragile I was afraid to hold him, but oh what a feeling! Your girls are precious and beautiful!

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Rae Walters-Harrison April 20, 2013 at 6:44 pm

awe! i can’t imagine what you went through!! but i do know the ache of not being able to hold your newborn child. when my 3rd was born full term he ended up having breathing issues right after birth and they had to ship him to another hospital because the one he was born in didn’t have a nicu. he was so bad his oxygen levels were low and not producing enough blood he had to have a blood transfusion at 3 days old. he also couldn’t be touched or held and had to have eye and ear patches on him and a sign over his crib that said minumial stimulation, meaning that he could only be touched enough to do what they needed to do and no more because anytime he was messed with his oxygen levels would go bonkers. anyways long story short he FINALLY regulated his oxygen levels enough to be released and at 8 days old when the nurse picked him up out of his crib and handed him to me i sat right down in the nearest rocker and just rocked my babe for a bit. the nurse then clued and asked if i had even held him yet and i said i had never held him yet and that was the first time and she told me to take all the time i needed and to enjoy my babe and could go when i was ready. it was a moment i’ll never forget. sometimes drs and nurses don’t understand that through all YOUR pain and suffering all you care about is seeing your baby(ies) and being near them. your sweet lil girls r so precious!! many happy years ahead to you and them!!

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flore November 15, 2013 at 10:06 am

I delivered 17 months ago 2 beautiful twin boys at 32 weeks. One of them was not growing anymore and was not receiving enough blood supply. They were 1.275 kg and 1.570 kg at birth and spent 5 days in intensive care followed by many weeks at the hospital. Just reading your blog made me cry so much. Until now this is a period of my life that I try to avoid thinking about because it was so hard and intense. Just thinking about it still makes me cry. I was able to have them on me, on my chest by day+1. I did it with the smallest one on the 1st day, he was needing it most. Day+2 I did it with the other baby. And at Day+3 I had both babies on my chest. It was the most emotional moment of my life, and I am a tough cookie. Until now just thinking about it brings tears. I had a blouse on, was on a wheel chair, my husband was also waerong a blouse, our hands desinfested 2 times, machines beeping all around us, and cables hanging from their chests and arms, but really it was magical. I will never forget. I just wanted to share. Could be a form of therapy :-) Good luck to all of you around here who are going through the same.

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