I saw this on the Invisible Midwives Facebook page the other day. Simple, probably said before, and true.
‘There are those that will make you believe birth is dangerous, not to be trusted and that your body does not work. That you need interventions, the saving of a Doctor and that you won’t be able to handle the pain. There are those that thrive on tearing women down and wanting you to believe that if you choose to have a physiological normal, natural and vaginal birth that you are putting your baby at risk’.
Nothing in life is guaranteed or perfect and people will jump on anything that does not go perfect in a birth outside of the hospital and spew venom and hate and say, ‘see all out of hospital birth is dangerous and you are a neglectful and horrible mother for choosing to do so.
These same people (friends, family, media, strangers, and those on the internet) do this while ignoring all of the complications, deaths and trauma caused in hospital births. They twist statistics for their own gain and when they are done chewing you up and spitting you out, they don’t care how you are left to feel, birth or anything else for that matter.
Well, I am here to tell you that BIRTH IS NORMAL, BIRTH IS AS SAFE AS LIFE GETS, BIRTH IS AWESOME, and YOUR BODY KNOWS HOW TO BIRTH YOUR BABY. That medical intervention is wonderful when needed and most of the time it is not. That having support and a qualified person available is a wonderful blessing and right that women should always have. You are a wonderful mother for birthing how you know is best. That listening to your gut and getting help with needed and not having it when you don’t need it are both good and OK. Complications arise just the same, actually more, from interventions than from undisturbed birth.
Why others care so much how you birth your baby is mind boggling. Why others do not want women and babies to own their bodies, their choices and to birth how we are meant to and to have what is rightfully ours to have, is disappointing to say the least. Do not let the world (or anyone in it) tell you otherwise. It is your body, your birth and your baby and you are responsible for all of the above, no one else. So do what you know is best and OWN THAT.
It seems everything has to have a disclaimer these days. That everyone has to say, ‘in most cases’ and ‘this is what I think, but get an opinion of a medical professional’ and ‘what’s right for me may not be right for you’. The reality though? Birth is as safe as life gets people. It’s NORMAL and nothing in life is perfect. Ever. Birth is not a medical event (in most cases though, right?). People slam me for saying cosleeping is normal, birth is normal and safe, breastfeeding is normal, etc. I am told I’m irresponsible for supporting women in their birth rights (how dare I) and I am an idiot for my beliefs. Yes, a woman with a college education, married to a husband with a graduate degree, who has had two cesareans, formula fed a baby, bottle fed another baby and even has used a crib! I’m so evil. I’ve also gone on and birthed 3 babies vaginally, breastfeed and cosleep. It’s my journey and I’m still on it, but want to support others on their journeys too.
I support birth, I know that unhindered birth is safe, I know that when women listen to themselves and have the right support, their births are uncomplicated. I know that interventions cause more harm than good. I know there is a time and place to have medical help and have and will get it when needed. I know that love and support go much further than hate. I believe in, support and love all of you.
Undisturbed birth is safe birth. Simple. True.
*Thank you Suzi for sharing your picture with us!
Recommended Reading
Supporting Women in All Birthing Choices
An Unintended Unassisted Birth
22 Favorite Birth Quotes and Affirmations
5 Quotes to Remind You Not to Induce
Selah’s Birth Story
The Freebirth of Poppy
Unexpected Home Delivery
Breech Babies Are Another Variation of Normal- Accidental Unassisted Birth, Down Syndrome, Mom Catches Baby Born En Caul
- A Decision to Birth Unassisted
9 Comments
Rachel
I love that picture of Suzi. 😀
Suzi
Thank you Rachel!! it makes me laugh when I look at it! hah the actual picture i was going for was a more serious look but my sister who took it for me made me laugh and caught that one and its just hilarious!
Bridgette Bowlin
ROCK ON!!!
Michelle
Just to throw this out there, though. While yes, many women who choose natural, home birth get criticized, the same goes in the other direction. I have a handful of friends who are all-natural about birth, but if I ever bring up that I want to do it in the hospital, with plenty of drugs to take the pain away, they judge me SO harshly. I think both sides get judged.
Hayley
Exactly Michelle, it is every woman’s choice to do what is best for her and her baby. While I do think women who do home births are insane (gimmie sec here) it’s in the same vein as how I think people who go extreme mountain biking or rock climbing are insane. It is a respectful acceptance that I could not do that, but I am impressed that they have.
People on both sides get and give a lot of crap and it needs to stop. Unless a woman chooses something that by all accounts endangers her baby, other people need to back off! Giving advice is fine, but let her decide, and don’t go after her for her decision.
Julie
I’m going to be the jerk here and say that, while interventions can save a life in rare cases, and medicating for pain is better than panicking and stalling labor, voluntarily choosing a birth with “plenty of drugs” is not and never will be an equally beneficial course of events for mom or baby. Sorry. Hate on. But I’m really tired of validating just for the sake of validating. Should have waited and read this tomorrow.
Sarah
Julie, I have to agree. I have had various medications in labor in the past, and have had some pretty serious side effects for my baby. Side effects that NO ONE told me about beforehand and if I’d known about them, I would have avoided the drugs entirely.
Interventions are GOOD in emergencies only. Period. And I am someone who has had an emergency c-section and a home birth. I’ve been on both sides of this issue. I am happy to have a live baby from that c-section; I am happier to birth at home with no interventions.
Jennifer Tyree
While I am not one who can do a home birth, nor can I do an unmedicated birth – I think its amazing that there are women who can!
I have degenerative disk disease in my lower back. Without an epidural I would be in excruciating pain. I do plan to go as long as I can without one, but I know that probably won’t be long (I had to wait till 4cm with my son, and that took almost 12hrs – I cried… a lot).
As the post says – everyone can choose to birth the way they want to. Only time that its necessary to say anything to anyone is when they decide to do something that is so obviously harmful to the baby. Having an epidural or pain meds nearby isn’t something that should be criticized.
Heather Kimble
Couldn’t have said it better myself.