I Am Strong {Because I Am A Mom}

I am strong because I got pregnant after being married for only a few months. I was told I would never be able to carry a baby inside my womb and it live.

I am strong because I prayed for my child every night. Because I had three previous miscarriages because of my unique issues.

I am strong because I stopped taking all of my PTSD & depression medication because it wasn’t safe for my baby. I am strong because I battled demons from my last to ensure that my child wouldn’t have any kind of medication that could harm him in utero.

I am strong because at 22 weeks I fell. My baby stopped moving and I started to bleed. I am strong because I prayed all the way to the hospital & during the very long ultrasound to be told my placenta had torn but everything was OK.

I am strong because I was put on bed rest and was fired from my job. I fought tooth & nail & won my unemployment because of wrongful termination. I am strong because of the financial hardships & stress.

I am strong because at 29 weeks I started to notice my mucus plug was coming out & I went into preterm labor. I developed severe pre-eclampsia and was monitored closely. I am strong because I drove 3x a week with my mother, 70 mi round trip for BPP ultrasounds & urine analysis tests.

I am strong because at 32weeks I was told it was time & I only had 30min to prepare. I welcomed the most perfect little boy into the world Via emergency C-section On 11-21-11 because my blood pressure was 210/156. He came out screaming, weighing only 4lbs 5oz and 15in long – perfectly healthy.

I am strong because in recovery I started to seize because of my blood pressure. I had 6grand maul seizures. I was immediately cut & had a central line placed into my jugular & given many medicines to keep me alive & to stop my tachycardia (extremely high heart rate ). I was placed on a magnesium drip & bed bound, unable to stand, eat or move.

I am strong because for three days I wasn’t allowed to see MY son. I am strong because I lay in bed praying & watching my family & close friends bring me pictures & exclaim how perfect my son was in NICU. I am strong because I cried myself to sleep without him near me.

I am strong because I stood up and walked to the door when they said I was allowed to see him. I didn’t care about a chair, I didn’t wait… I didn’t care about my C-section pain or the bleeding… I just needed to hold my baby. I wasn’t waiting anymore.

I am strong because He was in NICU 5weeks before coming home. I am strong because I had little help in home from his father when He did come home. (Thank god for my mother & bff) I was a new mom with an infant who was microscopic to me. I am strong because I took care of him with an apnea monitor even though I had No previous baby experience. Because he had bad reflux & choked. I am strong because I didn’t make milk but we still did skin to skin & He suckled until everything I had completely dried up. I am strong because I followed my instincts & co-slept until he was 11mo old.

I am strong because I’m now a single mom on my own with a very rambunctious, super smart, healthy 35in tall, 29lb 21mo old. I am strong because I am a mom.