10 Stupid Things You Never Want to Say to a Pregnant Mama

by Birth Without Fear on November 1, 2010

Why I oughta, Pregnant woman, birth

Ask any pregnant woman if people have made unnecessary comments, given unsolicited advice or just been plain rude and I guarantee you will get a loud YES!

After asking this question on the Birth Without Fear Facebook page, I came up with a top 10 list. This is to help all of you think twice before you speak. Remember, birth is beautiful and so is the pregnant mama. Treat her with kindness and respect. If you can’t do that, just remember, we are allowed to be hormonal. Don’t mess with us!!!

Here we go!

10. After mom has her baby, “You look like you have another one in there.”

9. “You ready to pop yet?” No, but I might pop you!

8. “You are crazy/brave. Just wait. You’ll want the epidural.”

7. “When are they going to induce? When are you due? They are going to let you go that far?” ¬†People, babies need to birth when they are ready! Leave them alone already!

6. Implying mom is too big or too small with comments like “Wow, you are really giving up your body, huh?” or “You don’t even look pregnant.”

5. Mentioning anything to do with population control, because you are proving we might as well begin with you.

4. Anything about babies dying. Really?!? Way to be positive.

3. “Don’t you know how THAT happens?” or “Have you ever heard of birth control?” Idiots.

2. “You guys are like rabbits.” Jealous much?

1. And the number one thing to never say to a pregnant mama is “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?” Automatic fail!

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{ 151 comments… read them below or add one }

LBriska Robertson August 7, 2012 at 11:01 pm

I am pregnant with our 6th and we homeschool and are a very busy family obviously. I just love it when all people think about is the fact that you are pregnant, like nothing else in the world matters during that time. When anyone talks to me now, the only thing they focus on is the fact that I am pregnant. I have other kids that are involved in so many different things and there is so much more that I like to share about with everyone, all the time. Also, if I am having to run a lot one day in particular, which is quite often, some are like, you shouldn’t be doing all that running with you being pregnant, like I am disabled or something. This among many other irritating things people say and do. :)

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Erin August 7, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I’m right there with Viv on being told not to do things. I had customers telling me that I shouldn’t pick something up (usually a purse that weighed less than a pound) because I was pregnant and then offer to get it despite the rules we had about customers using the hooks to get things down themselves.

Eventually I’d get so frustrated that when people told me not to roll(!) a suitcase because it was heavy, I’d tell them that I frequently carried around my 2-year-old and he weighed more than a full nested set of luggage (which is usually around 30lbs).

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Emily August 8, 2012 at 12:03 am

We were talking with our neighbor about our planned homebirth, and she asks, “Can the midwife to a c-section at home??” Uuuuuhhh…..no. Seriously??? Seriously? We go to the hospital that’s half a mile away for that. Then she says all excited, “You’ll have to tell me when you’re in labor so I can come over and watch!” Uuuuuuuhhh….no.

My *favorite* comment was from my cousin on a pic I posted of me at 40 wks (w/ my 4th), “Wow, it looks like you’ve got a baby AND a meatloaf in there!” LOLOL….. I totally had a giant belly and was damn proud of it! For some reason that just makes me laugh! I needed it. That baby was 3 wks late (and 11lbs!) and we got LOTS of comments. You just have to tune it out, learn the smile and nod, and give people LOTS OF GRACE! Not easy!! OH! And when said baby was born someone said the “Wow, you guys must not have a tv” comment and I thought he was being sarcastic about the stupid stuff people say, so it took me a minute to realize HE WAS REALLY SAYING IT!!! Uh, gulp…smile, nod, change subject. Wow. Rude!

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Carmel August 8, 2012 at 2:13 am

I had to have an ultrasound the day before my boy was born because they were worried about cord prolapse (along with everything else). The results came out and estimated my baby to be 11lbs. As if that didn’t freak me out enough the lady behind the counter proceeded on a rant about having a c-section or epidural and taking all the drugs I could get. Really wanted to hit her but had to sit patiently waiting for my prints.
I also used to get people ask if I knew what I was having and when I excitedly replied “yes a boy!” they would say “oh, you ruined it.” Wish I had the strength to yell “then why did you ask if you don’t approve!!”

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K.C. August 8, 2012 at 4:52 am

What I hated were the nightmare stories: not only of the birthing process, but of taking care of an infant in general. Now, I DID have a very difficult birth with my first, which ended up with a c-section (my second they just scheduled a c right off the bat…and yes, there WERE good reasons). I only bring it up when asked. The thing is, while I hated it done to me, for some reason I get REALLY defensive when it’s done to others! I had a friend who had to go through fertility therapy & such, and after going through all that, getting nightmare stories of horrible births…GRRRRRRR!!!

Another nit: people are so quick to talk about colic, sleepless nights, dirty diapers, etc., but not one single, solitary person bothered to tell me how much FUN a baby was! THAT is what I openly share with other expectant moms.

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Tamika August 8, 2012 at 8:00 am

the worst comment i ever got was when i had just had my bubs and i had an iv line in as i was dehydrated badly i went for a walk outside to get some fresh air and some lady said to me “looks like your about to have your baby” nope sorry lady shes out already hahaha.

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Trin August 8, 2012 at 8:01 am

At around 6 months, someone informed me I must be due any day. When I told her I had 3 more months, she followed me around the store I was in and insisted I absolutely had to go to the doctor and make them do an ultrasound because clearly I was about to have that baby any minute. Then she said it must be twins. This went on for 15 minutes, while the poor small business owner kept desperately trying to get her away from me. I had a good laugh over her crazy.

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Christina August 8, 2012 at 11:22 am

Im 5’2 and 5 months pregnant with twins. Just this past Saturday the store clerk asked how far along I was. After I told her, her response was ” Oh WOW! your tummy is so big!” I told her that there are 2 in my stomach and she says “oohh that explains it, but you look cute”. Minus the fact that she was about 23 and a tall skinny rail, I wanted to punch her. My husband thought it was the funniest thing ever because he saw the fury in my eyes LoL

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bee September 22, 2012 at 5:40 am

Re: tummy rubbers… I’m sort if all about having my tummy rubbed by people I know. I’ve never had a complete stranger try. But I *really* love messing with people in general so whenever someone goes for my belly I remind them how much my breasts have changed too and offer them up for a rub. Its awesome I think because it illustrates how absurd random belly touching is :) (also, no one had taken me up on the titty rub, not event husband, unfortunately :p)

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rachel December 20, 2012 at 11:34 am

i was planning a home water birth and EVERY PERSON i told gave me some horror story about what would of happened if they wernt at the hospital. even after my daughter was born (21/2 hours of labour,2 pushes, and she was so perfect everyone was calling her a c-section baby.) they are holding her and still saying “oh i wish she would of gone to the hospital” with such a concerned look on there face. like come on ! shes perfect! im fine! everything was a total ideal birth!!

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z January 31, 2014 at 1:20 am

#4 – my OB of 17 years made “your baby could die…” comments 4 times in one appointment… That’s when I made the decision (at 22 weeks) to switch OB. Best decision EVER!!!

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