The cesarean rate in our country (and many others) is undoubtedly too high. Normalizing birth, talking about women’s choices, sharing stories and educating ourselves will help reduce the amount of surgical births.
With that said, there are times when a cesarean section is necessary to save the mother and/or baby’s life. This is when obstetrics is a blessing. When a mother finds herself needing a cesarean section, especially when not planning one, she may be scared and not know what to expect. Cesarean sections, even when necessary, are major surgery. It is what it is.
The cesarean birth experience does not always have to be traumatic. There are things a woman and her family can do to prepare for ahead of time or they can do after the surgery, even if it was not previously prepared for. Here are some tips and information on what will help a mother and her baby heal and bond after a c-section.
- Wait until as close to ‘due date‘ as possible or until your body starts very early labor.
- Have meals prepared and frozen or meals brought in by family or church members.
- Buy and use a belly band for your incision.
- Talk to your doctor about what kind of incision they are doing. Horizontal is best if possible.
- Talk to your doctor about what kind of suturing they will do (double layer is usually wanted for a VBAC).
- Be adamant about one arm being unrestrained so you can touch your baby after s(he) is born.
- As long as baby is healthy, ask for skin to skin and breastfeeding immediately after surgery!
- Get up and move around as soon as possible. It’s hard, but you can do it with support.
- Do not overdo it. This can lead to complications. Rest, nurse and bond with your baby.
- Take your pain medicine at first to preempt the pain and wean yourself off as you can. Also, talk to your doctor about different pain med options.
- Wearing a sanitary pad across your incision will help your clothes from rubbing against it.
- Eat foods that soften your bowels and keep you regular (stool softener if needed).
- Careful when sneezing, laughing and coughing.
- Do NOT feel like a failure. You are a mother and just created a beautiful life!
- Watch this video of a ‘natural’ cesarean. Meaning there are things you can do to make the experience as family centered as possible! Talk about this with your doctor!
{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }
May I add, have your gown on back to front so when the baby is born it can be opened and your baby can be put straight on your chest for immediate skin-to-skin contact.
Great post!
This is a great idea… however, usually anesthesia needs access to the patient’s back to place a spinal for surgery (general anesthesia is not recommended unless absolute emergency due to the effects the medication has on the baby). The gown can be flipped around after the C/S but unlikely before it is completed. Great idea for after or make sure you have a gown that fully opens in the front.
I was robbed of every detail in this video, it has scarred me so much that i can not bond with my son and he is about to turn 3. I am really glad that this type of treatment is possible should i ever need a c-section again, however i really hope for a VBAC!
I hope you’re seeking professional help to learn how to bond with your son. The birth is an important part of the bonding but it’s not the end all be all. Look at adoptive parents who bond with their children. They manage to do it despite having nothing to do with the birth or initial care. The fact that you haven’t bonded with your three year old is serious and should be something that you seek outside assistance for. Best of luck to you and your son.
This was refreshing and informative and non-condeming. I was happy to read this from a NCB place
These are great tips. I had an unwanted c-section with my first son (after a series of unnecessary interventions) and I asked to have neither of my hands tied down, and they allowed it, which I thought was kind, seeing as I was shaking so much from terror! In January I’m hopefully having a VBAC, your website is so inspiring!
It’s beautiful that they have a midwife even during a c-section. What a wonderful change of pace.
I had my midwives with me the entire time I was in labor and during my emergency cesarean at 27 weeks. They were fantastic. I’m now pregnant again and planning a VBAC – again with midwives (although I consult with MFM to help prevent preterm labor and so on). Having them there was such a relief to me in such a traumatic situation, and they were SO wonderful in helping me recover – both physically and emotionally. I would *NEVER* go through a pregnancy and birth without my midwife there, knowing how wonderful their support is
Thank you for this. I have some concerns about my son being breech (hopefully he will flip properly in 2 weeks when I hit my 32 week mark and stay that way). I’m planning a homebirth whereas my first birth was a hospital induction with an epidural. Your website has been a great help for educating myself to homebirth and birthing without fear in general. Thank you for that. You have helped so many moms and I don’t think you get enough appreciation from it. <3
How about know what they are using to put you under if the spinal doesn’t work and possible side effects. Ketamine was used on me and I was not even told or I would have refused! Such a horrible thing they did to me and I ended up with PTSD from the trauma.
I’m just curious as to what injection they give to the baby. Is that necessary in a C-Sect?
You also might want to consider having a “Doula” present in the room. For some mom’s, they take the baby and dad follows to the nursery leaving mom alone. It’s ideal to have someone there for mom during the stitch up phase of the operation. Someone to hold mom’s hand and just be there. The staff will undoubtedly be unconcerned about mom and continue with mindless chitchat.
Luckily this was not the case at all with my second cesarean. The staff was wonderful, especially the anesthesiogist. My doula didn’t show up for the birth, so Dr. Fisher stepped in and filled that role beautifully.
This was so beautiful….until about 6:43, why are they sticking the baby so sad
The rest of this was absolutely wonderful. WHEN a c-section if necessary-this is the way is should be done!
I am the mother of 4 C-Section Babies. Two boys, 2 girls. The first one in 1969. I was never given the option for a vaginal birth in the years 1972, 74, and 77. My experiences were all pretty good but I still remember the pain after and I wished I had been able to hold the babies sooner than I was able to. I am now Nana to 8. My reason for the sections was pelvic disproportionment. I am grateful my OB/GYN was knowledgeable enough to know I would be unable to deliver safely.
I am 37 weeks and dealing with a breech baby. When it comes to birth, I was wanting and expecting that wonderful moment when my daughter comes into the world, my husband catching her and her being put on my chest for immediate bonding and loving. I wanted to have a natural birth at the local birth center with all my friends and family surrounding me. All that was turned upside down yesterday when I found that my daughter’s head is up under my ribs. I have a consultation on Friday to schedule my c-section. I just have to say that I can’t help but feel like it’s completely my fault that she’s breech. I have had such negative stress, worrying about her, worrying about finances, worrying about family issues when I should have tried harder to relax. Thank you for this helpful information about cesarean births – I am feeling a little more confident and I will bring this list with me to discuss my options with the doctor.
I am so glad you found this blog! Take a look at the Breech Birth section as well. You can still birth vaginally! (((hugs)))
Ashley, I have heard of babies who spin to the correct way during labour even, is it possible for you to go into labour naturally and then go to a c-section only if it is absolutely necessary?
Good luck whatever happens xx
I know it is hard but you should not be so hard on yourself… it is unlikely that you did anything to cause you baby to be breech. You should also discuss the options of having a version with your doctor. I see lots of successful versions at the hospital that I work at… if it doesn’t work, you can have a beautiful C/S experience. I had an emergency C/S with my daughter and she is a great breastfeeder and I can’t imagine any way I could be more bonded with her. I did ask to do skin to skin with her after birth in the OR and since baby was fine when she came out they let us do skin to skin.
My first 2 kids were c section. I dont feel I bonded very well with my oldest due to it being emergency c section and I was in so much pain afterwards and my second I think I bonded only because I was able to breastfeed. 2nd C section was horrible but recovery was easier due to I knew what to expect this time around… Plan on vbac this time and breastfeeding no matter what….
This was a beautiful video and Pandora’s experience was very similar to my second cesarean. I would like to add that, even if you aren’t planning to VBAC in the future that you request a double layer closure as there is evidence that the uterus heals better. That was important to me since I plan to have at least one to two more children (I have two now).
Thank you for this! I’m due next week and have had such guilt over needing another c-section. We are still looking a bit at VBAC but my hospital doesn’t allow them if the baby is a frank breach and my little one is. My son was as well. In fact his head was wedged and we didn’t know until they actually went in. They can’t tell if hers is, but we’re waiting to see. The uterus is heart shaped, bicornuate and it’s not conducive to a baby “dropping.” One high risk doctor I am working with is completely against me attempting a VBAC. That sounds harsh, but he’s genuinely concerned. Another said we could try if she turns, but he doesn’t think she can. Any way, this was just so helpful to read when I am often bombarded with hurtful words to the effect of “taking the easy way out.” And I will say anyone that thinks visiting multiple doctors on a weekly bases, facing down a surgery with babies at home, going through a somewhat degrading process of the surgery, and then recovery that is lengthy and burdensome on loved ones and children, has not experienced a c-section or they have issues of their own. Thank you again!!!
I’m always blown away at people calling sections the easy way out. My sister had 2 sections and the recovery process is tiresome even just to watch. I told her that after seeing her go through the weeks of pain/medications/etc of recovery (plus she had a reaction to the tape they put over the incision) I can’t see how anyone could call that “easy”…sure you don’t have to go through labor necessarily and you don’t push an all that, but easy? NO WAY!
I wish you best of luck with your birth, I’m sure how ever it works out is the way it should be. Congratulations in advance for the birth of your daughter.
Birth is all about choice, and all ways can be beautiful <3
thanks for sharing this post and the information in it. it is nice to find some positive information on c-sections for once.
Melinda, anyone who says that a csection is the easy way out has obviously never had one. I cannot think of a single way to birth that is “easy”. Some more tolerable than others, perhaps, but never easy.
To me, you are making a beautiful sacrifice. You are allowing yourself to be cut open while awake so that your child can be born. And trust me, you will still get that amazing burst of oxytocin.
Knowing what I know these days, I will push much, MUCH harder for a more natural birth next time. Nonetheless, I was still blessed with a happy, healthy son, and he still came out of me.
I wanted to add something very important to the tips here. Many, many women fail to breastfeed after a caesarian because of blood loss, the body will not start to make milk until it has made up sufficient blood volume. My hospital bought me a very small amount to drink and while I was bedridden I didn’t think about getting up to drink more until my family members noted that my catheter bag was terribly dark yellow and I needed to drink a lot more. If they hadn’t noticed and I hadn’t immediately upped the water intake my milk would probably have failed to come in (it came 5 days after delivery, very late).
Please remind women having caesarians or those who have high blood loss in normal deliver to DRINK, DRINK, DRINK. I’m sure this is one of the main reasons so many caesar mothers fail to get milk.
Request mother baby non seperation my twins were a c-section and thankfully born 39/4 and were placed on me to nurse with the assistance of a midwife and dr. team. They never left me,my babies rested on me being wheeled back to recovery. I feel so blessed!!They are 12 weeks old and I still feel like I’m enjoying a Baby Moon because of this.Researching your options and building a team relationship is so very important!!!!!!
My C section wasnt this natural but pretty close, i was very happy with it, this time around if a VBAC isnt to be i have written a new birth plan to incorporate c section including delayed clamping and skin to skin immediately. as it was they never took baby away i could see him the whole time and my husband held him beside me cut the cord etc and i held him once i went into recovery, they didnt weigh and measure him till we were back in our room then we breastfed within the first hour, i did have some trouble bonding in the beginning and id like to avoid that if possible thankfully the ob ive spoken to about it (she was my anesthetist when my son was born) has been supportive of everything we’ve discussed and we are hoping it wont come into play and i will have a successful VBAC, they are a baby friendly hospital its just a matter of moving into the theater. i wish everyone could have the positive experience i did
(extra) i often tell people what i remember most about my cesarean is the doctors telling me off for laughing at their jokes while they were stitching
This is great!..However, no sanitary pads are needed anymore. (See #11) – My mother sent me CesareanWear underwear called Czela Bellies and they were my lifesaver! #6 would have been nice – didn’t know you could ask to not be totally restrained.
I was a 1st time homebirth turned c-section. My c-section was great. Education is key. Even if you are having a home birth so you know the stats are on your side not to end up with one, it can happen, and it can be wonderful! I saw my baby right after she came out and they made sure she was breathing OK. I’ll never forget that first look at her beautiful naked body covered in everything birth, her sweet face forever etched in my mind. They brought her back to me again after cleaning her up (but not washing her as per our request) while they stitched me. She had been crying, but soon as we had our faces together, she stopped. It was amazing. They took her after that for weighing and for “shots” (my husband was there declining all of them, good man) and I had her again as soon as I arrived in my recovery room for nursing. It wasn;t perfect…the nurses threatened us when we took of her gazillion blankets for skin to skin that she would get too cold and they would have to take her to the nursery, for instance…but being educated I was not afraid to hold her to my body anyway and of course she stayed toasty warm. I am so glad for this post, I hope it helps some of you women out there who don’t think this is an important aspect to consider when learning about birth!
I had the most positive cesarean birth I could imagine. I never asked for anything. They did not bind my arms and my baby was in my arms and at my breast in less than an hour. The nurse even took pictures of the birth for us so that my husband could hold my hand and watch the birth. They did have to take her to check her vitals right away, but my husband was with her the whole time. I had watched this video and create a birth plan as a backup plan. I had an emergency cesarean as a result of chin presentation. I did not need the birth plan. My doctor was amazing as was the hospital staff. I was terrified at first, but this birth was by far more peaceful than my son’s vaginal birth. I am scarred from that more than I could ever be from this one. Thanks for this article and video.
Thank you so much for posting this video. I will have to have a planned C-section for my next pregnancy and had no idea these kinds of things were possible. Coming from the view of only a traumatic c-section experience before, you have no idea how much better I feel now.
It has taken me 13 months to come to terms with my csection. Pages like this help reassure me that I did the best I could. he was malpositioned so I labored for a long time and in the end had to have a csection because he just wasn’t decending. It wasn’t an ‘emergency’ it was just about getting him out since the labor was coming on 3 days and I was literally falling asleep between contractions. he wasn’t fitting in my pelvis and his head was starting to swell. I had one arm free, they didn’t give me the spinal until the very last minute so as little drugs as possible got to him. They brought him to me quickly. I didn’t do skin to skin, I was so exhausted and upset that I just wasn’t thinking straight. They brought him to me and it was amazing how he’d been screaming but as soon as he heard me he stopped. We have it on video, his little eyes are searching for me..I got to talk to him for a bit and kiss him. he had an almost perfect APGAR score, and needed nothing more than checking of vitals, he was perfect. The closing up took a bit longer than usual apparently they were concerned with my bladder and had to run some blue fluid through it. His head was smashing it most of my labor(2+days). I also didn’t get to hold him for about 2 hours because the birthing floor was swamped and they didn’t have any postpartum rooms available. So they put us back in the room I’d been laboring in for 16 hours. My midwife stayed with me while they stitched me up which was nice and my boyfriend was with the baby while they washed him up. I remember being on the table, watching them walk away yelling…remind them NO PACIS, NO BOTTLES!! I just turned my focus on breastfeeding. When they brought us to the room it was late at night so no LC came by. Thankfully I knew the basics and THANK GOD he latched immediately. That moment made everything so worth it! I don’t know what I would’ve done had we had nursing problems. So I think that while we had a delay in being together, once we were together, it was skin to skin, lots of nursing. I remember I didn’t sleep all night. I just stared at him all night. I’m still not 100% ‘over it’..but I am grateful that I had enough knowledge to remain in some control. While I didn’t do everything-immediate BF, etc..I still have a iron bond with my son, and had a relatively easy recovery. I only took a couple of Tylenol 3′s after, no vicodin or anything like that. I got up and around as soon as I could..but did take it easy at home. I only focused on nursing, even when my nipples were ON FIRE that first month, I kept going. I think my CS made me even more determined to make it work. So I guess I am grateful. No housework, no cooking, baby was all that mattered. I didn’t even take walks until the 6 wk mark.i didn’t want recovery taking one second more than it needed to. They did tell me a vaginal delivery will be possible should I decide to try again. I don’t think I’ll have another child, but if so you can bet I would try my darnest to deliver vaginally. My birthing coach said it best…I had a NATURAL labor, just not a NATURAL birth…and that is OK. I am glad I got to labor for as long as I did to give my kiddo time to be ready for the world. It’s important for us to educate ourselves on csections. I was so gung-ho it wasn’t going to happen that I didn’t know what to expect when it did. I didn’t know I could’ve had skin to skin immediately or asked to bf in the room, etc.