“There was no fear” {Preemie Cesarean Birth}

by Birth Without Fear on August 21, 2013

“I wanted to share my story because I thought it would help make an impact on your fans and hit home your message of “birth without fear.”” – Megan, His Middle Name

I had an extremely difficult pregnancy due to a fibroid tumor, but still managed to find the beauty in all of it. With every episode of bleeding and each hospital stay, I never let it take away the miracle I was experiencing – my growing belly, my new found curves, the flutters I felt in my belly as my baby danced and swirled inside of me. I continued to feel blessed and thankful, even though my OBGYN told me I could not have a water birth, as I originally had hoped and planned for.

I only carried my son for six months – as he came three months early due to a placental abruption that almost took my life and the life of my two pound son. The amount of blood loss was immeasurable, and I couldn’t even be awake to welcome my son into the world during my emergency c-section. I had to be cut vertically from my pubic bone to my navel and be placed under anesthesia, but even then, waiting on the operating table as the doctors prepped me for surgery – there was no fear. Just wonder. Wonder and love. I woke to a flat and stapled belly and a transfusion line in my arm. But one of the doctors that delivered my son that night in October managed to snap a photo of him and made sure it was by my bedside when I awoke. It was the first thing I saw when I came to. My husband was there as well, being the rock (as always) and a witness to it all.

[My son right after he came out of the womb.]

permmie cesarean birth

[Holding my son's preemie diaper the day after I gave birth.]

premmie birth first diaper

[Kissing my son for the first time.]

premmie baby first kiss

[Breastfeeding my son in the NICU.]

breastfeeding in nicu

Over the next two and half months, our son fought for his life in the NICU. He became an inspiration to me, my husband, our family, dear friends and the doctors and nurses that cared for him. After my son was home healthy, I started a website/blog/Facebook page (‘His Middle Name’) to share my experience with the hopes of reaching others. His Middle Name offers support to preemie parents and women who have experienced pregnancy complications.

Since my son’s birth, I have had to have a hysterectomy, as my battered uterus was damaged beyond repair after the birth of my son. For me, the dream of carrying more children has ended. But through vulnerability and adversity, comes strength and grace. I have that to give to my son in abundance.

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