“There was no fear” {Preemie Cesarean Birth}

by Alisia on August 21, 2013

“I wanted to share my story because I thought it would help make an impact on your fans and hit home your message of “birth without fear.”" – Megan, His Middle Name

I had an extremely difficult pregnancy due to a fibroid tumor, but still managed to find the beauty in all of it. With every episode of bleeding and each hospital stay, I never let it take away the miracle I was experiencing – my growing belly, my new found curves, the flutters I felt in my belly as my baby danced and swirled inside of me. I continued to feel blessed and thankful, even though my OBGYN told me I could not have a water birth, as I originally had hoped and planned for.

I only carried my son for six months – as he came three months early due to a placental abruption that almost took my life and the life of my two pound son. The amount of blood loss was immeasurable, and I couldn’t even be awake to welcome my son into the world during my emergency c-section. I had to be cut vertically from my pubic bone to my navel and be placed under anesthesia, but even then, waiting on the operating table as the doctors prepped me for surgery – there was no fear. Just wonder. Wonder and love. I woke to a flat and stapled belly and a transfusion line in my arm. But one of the doctors that delivered my son that night in October managed to snap a photo of him and made sure it was by my bedside when I awoke. It was the first thing I saw when I came to. My husband was there as well, being the rock (as always) and a witness to it all.

[My son right after he came out of the womb.]

permmie cesarean birth

[Holding my son's preemie diaper the day after I gave birth.]

premmie birth first diaper

[Kissing my son for the first time.]

premmie baby first kiss

[Breastfeeding my son in the NICU.]

breastfeeding in nicu

Over the next two and half months, our son fought for his life in the NICU. He became an inspiration to me, my husband, our family, dear friends and the doctors and nurses that cared for him. After my son was home healthy, I started a website/blog/Facebook page (‘His Middle Name’) to share my experience with the hopes of reaching others. His Middle Name offers support to preemie parents and women who have experienced pregnancy complications.

Since my son’s birth, I have had to have a hysterectomy, as my battered uterus was damaged beyond repair after the birth of my son. For me, the dream of carrying more children has ended. But through vulnerability and adversity, comes strength and grace. I have that to give to my son in abundance.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Jane August 22, 2013 at 4:52 am

I had a 2 lb 30 weeker 19 months ago and that first photo of your son looks almost identical to my first photo of my son. Hope you are all doing well!

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Brie August 22, 2013 at 12:23 pm

Bless you MAMA! Way to have a positive attitude! You handled your birth with such grace and love. I’m in awe.

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Och.McKenzie August 22, 2013 at 1:02 pm

I think that’s an amazing story. I’m sorry that you didn’t get the birth that you had hoped for, but I’m glad that your doctor took that picture and had it ready for you. There’s only so much that they were probably able to do to make it special, but they did what they could – that would’ve made it special for me… knowing that they cared enough to do that. It’s the little things….

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Katie August 23, 2013 at 9:26 am

i’ve never commented here, but your story moved me. way to be strong mama!

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Monica August 23, 2013 at 1:23 pm

I am so moved that they took that picture and set it just so you would see it the first thing when you came to. I wish more little positive things like that were done for moms. A little thing like that really does go a long way in giving a positive experience in birth that is high risk. Bless you and your lil one. Thank you for sharing.

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Erika Wilkins August 26, 2013 at 6:24 pm

This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story!

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Haileyumpierre August 26, 2013 at 8:18 pm

Beautiful! My Daughter was born at 28 weeks and 2lbs. She is now 7 months and 11lbs. I love these beautiful bonding nicu pictures!

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Erin August 27, 2013 at 10:46 am

I’m so impressed by your attitude. I struggled so hard after my first child was born at almost 32 weeks. We had planned a natural birth at a birth center but my membranes ruptured and I was already 5cm by the time we got to the hospital. I hadn’t prepared for a hospital birth of a preemie at all (who does?), so I kinda thought things were a lot more life-threatening than they were and that my preferences no longer mattered. It made me feel extremely vulnerable and it didn’t help when the doctor mocked me in a singsong voice when I said no to pitocin. I did manage to give birth with very few interventions and I mainly credit God and relaxation techniques I learned doing Hypnobabies. I had trouble bonding with my baby for nearly a year, had trouble breastfeeding (but we’re still going strong at 2.5 yrs!), and had PTSD symptoms for quite a while. The birth of my daughter nearly 2 years later was incredibly healing. She was born at home, in the water, 9 days after her due date, and nursed like a champ from day 1.

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