A Breastfeeding Mother’s Will Knows No Bounds {I Am Strong; Anxiety, SNS, Donor Milk}

I am strong because after 5 hours of intense labor I gave birth to my beautiful 7lb 13oz baby girl without any pain medication. My daughter had difficulty latching but was able to with a nipple shield.

I am strong because I suffered from severe postpartum anxiety and didn’t feel connected to my daughter.

I am strong because after a week of breastfeeding I got mastitis. I was running a fever of 103.8 and attempting to take care of my newborn. The antibiotics I was given weren’t working and I needed stronger medication. This new medication made both me and my little one sick but we kept breastfeeding.

I am strong because I continued to nurse through excruciating pain.

I am strong because when my daughter was 2 weeks old she and I both got thrush. My nipples were cracked and bruised. It felt like sharp daggers were going through my breast. I cried every time I nursed her. I begged my husband to let me give up but he continued to encourage me.

I am strong because at 3 weeks old my little one still had not gained back her birth weight. She was nursing every hour for 45 mins around the clock. I only had 15 mins in between each session. I was exhausted. I wanted to give up. I felt like I couldn’t do this anymore. All she did was cry all day long.

I am strong because I reached out for help and saw a lactation consultant. At 3 1/2 weeks old my daughter was diagnosed with a posterior tongue tie. I needed to start supplementing so she could gain weight. I tried pumping but wasn’t able to get enough to feed my daughter.

I am strong because I battled low supply issues related to her tongue tie for weeks. I used donor milk to supplement until my supply came back.

I am strong because on Christmas Eve I took my daughter to have a tongue tie revision done. I returned to the lactation consultant 5 more times to help get her to latch. For three weeks I did tongue exercises and continued to supplement using an SNS.

I am strong because I nursed with a nipple shield for 6 months until she finally learned how to latch on her own.

I am strong because at 8 months postpartum we are still breastfeeding. I have never fought so hard for something I felt so strongly about ever in my life. I would rather give birth a hundred times over than go through that again. And yet I’m thankful for the struggles I had, because without them, I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.

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3 Comments

  • Diana Randall

    This is so our story! I have never fought so hard for anything in my entire life, but my son is now almost 15 months old and still nursing a few times a day. So worth the fight and I have learned so much about myself and how to make the next time around go more smoothly 🙂

  • Jennifer

    Yes, you are strong! I feel like this could be my story. The latch issues, bleeding and bruised nipples, severe posterior tongue tie. I have never before or since experienced such intense pain. But we made it to 19.5 months of breastfeeding!

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