I have five children! This is amazing, coming from a woman who never wanted to have children. In my early 20’s I didn’t want to marry or ever go through the pain of childbirth. When I married at the age of 25, and soon found myself pregnant, my life changed forever.
My first son was born in the hospital. I had a midwife, and wanted to have a natural childbirth, but was horribly unprepared for unmedicated childbirth. My birth was beautiful, but I had asked for an epidural once we arrived at the hospital. My intention was to labor as long as possible at home, which I did. Upon arrival with all the bright lights and paperwork, I could not concentrate on my labor. Our first son was born naturally, but with my lower body pretty numb. The moment was wonderful but when you take away the “bad feeling” you kind of take away the good too.
When I found myself pregnant again a little more than a year later, I knew I wanted to try a homebirth. Subsequently, my next three children were born in water, at home with the same midwife. Each birth was glorious. The moments my next three boys emerged from my body into the world were so powerful. I wish I had had that with my firstborn. I love him dearly, but there is something magical about a natural birth experience.
This story though is about my fifth child, a daughter. Yarow was born just this year, 7/7/2017. Above all my birth experiences, this one was the most incredible so far. I attribute it to much more preparation, meditation, visualization and prayer. Although I enjoyed the homebirthing experience of my boys, I had some fear which caused my labors to more like a roller-coaster, and somewhat painful. For Yarow, I knew I wanted to have a peaceful, pain-free birth.
I can honestly say that I accomplished that seemingly impossible task! There was a lot of intensity, strong rushes, and feelings, but no real fear and no real pain. It was a beautiful, sweet, loving, and anointed birth.
It was 9:00pm, and I was reading to my children, when my water partially broke. I felt a pop in my stomach and gush of water. I asked my oldest son to get me a towel. I wrapped myself in the towel and wobbled to my bathroom to see what was truly going on. I was having contractions and little gushes of water. I called my midwife and she suggested I try to take a nap and call her in a few hours.
After fifteen minutes of contractions, I called her back. I knew I would not be able to nap. I was surprised how fast things seemed to be progressing. She told me she’d leave right away to come to our home. Since she had a 45 minute drive, I was glad to hear she was leaving immediately. I then asked my husband to fill the birthing pool, because I was planning on having a water birth. We told our children that they would probably have a baby brother or sister by the morning, and hurried them to their beds. I went downstairs with my husband and labored on one of those big exercise balls, while he filled our birth pool.
I knew I wanted a very peaceful birth. We kept the lights really low, and one candle lit in my kitchen. I had relaxing music playing. I also had a few “tools” to use during contractions. Sometimes I breathed in essential oils. I also had what is called a worry stone, and I squeezed it in my hand as I contracted. When the midwives arrived, I was temporarily distracted and felt a few contractions get away from me. I forced myself to stay focused and began fixing my gaze on the lit candle as I contracted. While they were setting things up, my husband was free to be supportive. At this point it, was 10:30 pm and I did not know how close I was to the end. Everything was happening so quickly and I felt really good. I remember thinking, why are they (the midwives) hurrying so much to get set up. I still had a little doubt in my mind that I was in actual labor.
Contractions kept coming in waves. Some were very easy to manage, and every few there would be a very intense rush. I read about a technique in one of Ina May Gaskin’s books, where you blow raspberries with your lips to keep your mouth loose. I had been doing this, but as the waves of contractions became more intense, I really utilized this technique because I wanted every rush to count. It also helped distract my mind from thinking of pain.
Around 11:40 or so, I felt an urge to enter the pool. It was now nice and warm and ready. It felt great to sit on the soft cushiony bottom of the birth pool. I now knew I was truly in labor because I had no more concern about how much clothing I had on. I remember this from other labors. Initially I would feel a little modest laboring, but as I got close, my inhibitions would disappear.
My contractions were really getting strong in the water. I asked my midwife is she checks dilation, because she had not done this. She told me she would if I wanted her too. I hesitated and thought to myself, “what if she says I am only 4 cm?” So, I waited. After two more strong rushes, I knew I had to be very close. She checked me and I was 9 ½ to 10 cm. Almost fully dilated! I was relieved, the end was close and I would soon be holding my baby!
It was now just midnight, when I began feeling urges to push. My midwife really encouraged me to wait until I felt a strong urge to bear down. I always pushed a little soon in my other births, eager to have the baby be delivered. However, I followed her advice and waited until my baby was almost crowning. I had to squeeze my husband’s hands really tightly with the last few contractions. The feelings were so strong. I don’t want to call them painful, but just strong sensations. The strongest sensations I’ve ever felt, but not the pain injury.
I pushed my baby girl out in 9 minutes! Her head came first and I expected her little body to slip out quickly. She got a little stuck at her middle and I had to bear down on one last contraction to get her fully out.
The relief and euphoric feeling of your baby entering the world and into your arms is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It erases all the weeks and months of any discomfort, or negative feelings you may have had as a pregnant mother. I remember laying my head back against the pool, holding her and seeing that she was a girl for the first time. I kept repeating “thank God, thank God.” My husband and I were laughing and crying at the same time. It was amazing!
My husband then woke up our other children come down to see their baby sister. I will never forget that peaceful evening as we all gathered in my kitchen to witness the miracle of birth as a family. I am so glad we had our daughter at home with a great midwife team, in familiar settings and the love of family. I believe that is the best way to enter into life, surrounded by peace and love and baby staying close to mother and father the whole time.
I told myself before my daughter was born that this was my last pregnancy. After such a transforming, I mean soul transforming experience, I cannot help but want to try this miracle again! My husband and I have 5 children. I will be 37 this year, and I don’t know if I am “finished” having children. Children are the biggest challenge of my life. Every aspect of being pregnant, giving birth and raising them is a challenge, but it is also the sweetest blessing.
Birth experience and photograph submitted by Jenel S.
HI! I am so grateful that you included my article. I wrote these words soon after her birth. So glad I have that memory recorded and available for others to view and share. Pregnancy, birth and motherhood can be such a blessing, but it truly needs to be modeled for women. It does not come naturally!