My Fourth Baby, Second VBA2C and First Unassisted Birth

by Mrs. BWF on April 25, 2011

This is not my most recent birth. I am still processing and writing that one. This is my last birth. My fourth child, my second VBA2C and my first unassisted childbirth. Here is the birth story as I wrote it after that amazing, empowering and healing birth!

Everyone has been asking for our birth story. I was so excited that I was going to write it all out and post it right away. Every time I opened up a fresh, “add new post” page, I became frozen. When the baby was a few days old, Brandon and I were watching a movie that was kind of emotional. When it ended I began to cry and some feelings came out (this happens a lot post partum!).

I realized that my birth was so special and sacred this time that I can’t just post it, details and all, on a blog for the whole world to read. It was too intimate for that. If you haven’t had a natural childbirth, you may or may not understand. I didn’t before this birth. And I even had a VBA2C last time, but it wasn’t intimate and natural!

So, I apologize if this is a let down. I am going to share how the birth went, but the details and beauty of it I am keeping to myself. If I know you and begin talking to you and feel comfortable sharing details with you, then I will, but not like this…on the internet!

Here is an overview. It still seems like I am sharing a lot, but there was so much more!

My labor was 20 hours long, beginning Tuesday morning at 9 am after nursing my 20 month old. This is very short for me in comparison to my last 2 labors. It was perfect actually. I labored on my own all day. Brandon took care of the kids. I did whatever felt natural. I layed down a lot and rested, ate, went potty, etc. The contractions were about 5 minutes apart all day.

I just relaxed like I had practiced with all the prodromal labor I had for weeks previous. I visualized and practiced positive self talk (to myself.) It was amazing to just give over and relax. My labor was NOT painful at all. It could have been. I really learned with this birth that it is mostly mental. It’s not about tolerating pain, it’s about giving over to the process of birth and having no fear!

Once all the kids were in bed and asleep (about 9 pm), I layed down with Brandon and we rested. I labored between my bedroom like that and in the kitchen leaning over our high counter. I received a text from my friend Tiana and saw it was around midnight. At this point things were picking up more. She was the only person I told I was in labor. A lot of people called me that day actually. I was on their radar! We didn’t want anyone to know we were in labor. Tiana just text me at the right time, I guess, and I felt better after texting with her.

All day I groaned and moaned through my contractions. I was getting a little more vocal and tired in the early hours of the morning. I started to question things. I realized I must be getting close to transition. This is when Brandon’s support really helped. He prayed for me a ton and talked to me and would help center me. This is also when I realizied that I had to COMPLETELY give over so I didn’t stall my labor like the last two times.

I finally got in the tub. After Brandon and I prayed and talked, I mentally went into myself. You know how you see or hear of women being SILENT, that was me!!! I just went into the contractions and after a few of these, my water broke in the tub. It was so cool.

I got out of the tub and was having a hard time relaxing. I was getting shaky and kinda questioning my sanity! LOL. On the flip side of that though, I also told myself that I was in transition. I knew what was going on. I continued to trust in birth, trust in God and trust myself. I believed in my body and knew everything was OK. The baby was moving all throughout my labor (she was high and working herself into a good position) and I never once felt I would need to transfer. What faith!

I got back in the tub and went back into myself. I got silent again. After a while, my feet starting getting numb, so I got on hands and knees and it was INTENSE. I got out of the tub and went potty. All of a sudden the contractions were super intense! I couldn’t continue being silent. I worked really hard to breathe through them, but I was pushing too! I couldn’t believe it because the baby had still been high.

Our 20 month old woke up and she and Brandon watched me as I breathed and pushed. There were only 6-7 contractions like this. After about 3, we felt and her head was in the birth canal. After about 2 more she was crowning and in one more contraction she slid out into Brandon’s waiting hands. I birthed her standing in a half squat. It was amazing. The details of this part are so emotional and beautiful. This was just a quick summary. For this blog though, I will share that we were ecstatic and of course in a “we did it!” excitement. She was purple and took a minute to pink up. She was just so quiet. It was extremely peaceful. Our 20 month old was yelling “BABY! BABY! BABY!” and loved it. Brandon announced she was a girl.

me and baby edited uc

I birthed the placenta easily and we had to work a bit to get my bleeding down. This was the first time my body gave birth with NO INTERFERENCE! I continued to have faith and my body got the hang of it. After getting all cleaned up, Brandon, myself our 20 month old and baby bonded. No one to poke, prod and place fears on us. The older 2 children woke up a few hours after she was born and were so happy we were home. Our oldest cut the cord about 3 hours after the birth (we had promised her she could). Our son was ecstatic because he was right…she was a girl!

It has been an amazing experience, to say the least. Being in my own home with my family and bonding with our new baby has been relaxing. No trauma, no outside interference. Just birth.

3 hours after birth…

unassisted birth

Day of birth…

me and baby post partum edited

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{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

Brittany Joiner April 25, 2011 at 11:58 pm

And your hair manages to look amazing as always :) She is so beautiful :) I <3 reading this story!

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Mrs. BWF April 25, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Haha! Thanks mama.

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nordica April 26, 2011 at 12:09 am

i cried. thanks for sharing, even just the nuts and bolts.

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Lady KLM April 26, 2011 at 1:12 am

Thank you so much for sharing even if it was just the surface of it. It was still amazing to me <3

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Kelli April 26, 2011 at 2:00 am

Birth stories have never effected me much but this story gives me hope that I can have a healing birth the next time around. I don’t comment on the facebook page a lot but you are a true inspiration and a wonderful woman! You look so beautiful and peaceful in your picture and I have to say again you are utterly amazing! Congratulations on our newest little one. :-)

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Diana April 26, 2011 at 8:20 am

Thank you for sharing the lovely birth story. I just had my fourth baby two weeks ago, second HBAC. I also have had trouble just sharing all that intimacy, but it’s still very recent for me, so we’ll see. Congratulations on the perfect, interference-free birth. SO beautiful!

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gillian April 26, 2011 at 9:36 am

Again, beautiful. You are a strong and amazing mother. More of us who have had births that had NO interference need to share our stories. We need to encourage women and feed their souls.

I am so proud of you! I am so excited for you, that have had the chance to heal from previous trauma and self-doubt! LOVE your blog & FB page! Thanks for sharing.

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heather April 26, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Beautiful!

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Allison April 26, 2011 at 6:32 pm

It MUST have been an amazing birth because you look like a goddess immediately after. :)

I attended the third birth of a dear friend of mine. It was a HypnoBirthing, and she was so relaxed just before transition that we all thought she was sleeping. She “woke up” and birthed the baby within the hour. I normally don’t notice the radiance it is said that pregnant women have, but WOW did I notice it with my friend. She was positively radiant, I had never seen her look so beautiful. This photo of you reveals such a radiance.

Thank you for sharing!

Allison x

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Judy April 26, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Hi! I love your story, and your fb page! I am just wondering if you could give me some advice, I am expecting my 4th baby, I have had 3 babies all by c-section, the first one my water broke and in 26 hours i was not dilated and the babies heart rate went down, so they did a c-section, and from then on, well you know how dr’s are, they just alway’s planned the c-sections. So I am wondering is it possible to deliver this baby without a c-section?:)

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Bec June 24, 2013 at 11:13 pm

Hi Judy,

Whilst I am very cautious about advising other women to do this, I want to encourage you that VBAC3C are indeed possible. I had an emergency CS with my first after being induced (under Dr’s advice) and “failing to progress”, my second was also an emergency CS after a “failed VBAC attempt”, and after having been told that I had a “non-compliant cervix” my third was also delivered via emergency CS (we were scheduled but she arrived 3 weeks early). I always knew that my body had never been given the time or support it required to birth naturally and very soon after my third was born, I felt the assurance of God that my next child would be born naturally. This set into motion an incredible journey of faith, hope, and peace that culminated two weeks ago (today!) in the amazing God-ordained homebirth of my youngest son, born in water and delivered into the loving arms of his daddy! His amazing birth is testament to the fact that our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made for this purpose and that peace from God truly does surpass all understanding.

In having said that, there are of course risks in doing what we did and this would have to be something that you and your husband/partner would have to consider carefully and prayerfully. We knew it was the right thing for us and had numerous confirmations from God throughout our entire journey, and my peace about our decision made it the right one.

I am in Australia and I do know that at least one hospital over here (Brisbane Women’s) will support VBAC3C, but you have to do your homework quite extensively to find the right people to support you in your journey.

Good luck – I pray that you are well supported to have the birth that your heart desires.

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Tiana April 26, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Love you!! I forgot that I was the only one you told! Oh how I miss you!

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brittanylindstrom April 26, 2011 at 11:20 pm

What a beautiful birth story mama. If this is just the ‘short and sweet’ version, I can’t imagine how beautiful the whole story would be. Thank you for sharing such intimate parts or your life with us.

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Karen April 27, 2011 at 1:43 am

I loved reading your birth story. Amazing. My sister has two children, and I was there for both births. The first was in the hospital, using HypnoBirthing. The second was in a cabin with a midwife, again using HypnoBirthing. The difference between the two births was incredible. At the hospital, the staff were great, but they did kind of go on “auto-pilot,” and did things that my sister had said she did not want. Birthing in the cabin with a midwife was wonderful! My sister was so quick that we didn’t get the birthing pool filled up in time.

Your birth story is inspiring, and I’m trying to learn more about Unassisted Childbirth. Thank you for sharing.

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Rachel April 27, 2011 at 10:05 am

Beautiful, thank you so much for sharing!

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Ashley Wheeler April 27, 2011 at 1:33 pm

You are amazing! I feel you on not telling the details of your homebirth! I had an UBA2C and I’m still processing it after almost 2 yrs later. Once I find out if we are pregnant again I don’t want any interference with my pregnancy! I want to maybe see a midwife once just for an overall check up but I don’t want any prenatal care! I want to enjoy my pregnancy this time w/o any interference! I don’t have high risk pregnancies and I’m usually healthy and don’t need anything so I don’t see the reason. We also don’t want to find out the sex or have any u/s done. I totally want to trust God during my pregnancy and birth this time around!

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jessica April 27, 2011 at 2:43 pm

this is inspiring!

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MommaT April 27, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Yes it is!!! ICAN is a good place to start….. inform yourself! You’ll find tons of support through them. I’m a hba2c momma:)

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Nathalie May 5, 2011 at 1:57 am

Hi,

Just want to say I miss you on facebook, but I understand your choice. I wish you all the best for the future.

Feel free to delete my message, it’s off topic, but I wanted to find a way to say goodbye :)

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Danielle May 18, 2011 at 6:15 am

You look gorgeous and happy! I’m so glad things went well.

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CAtherine May 18, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Wow! I wished to do an unassisted birth, but was convinced not to… Lucky for me, I had awesome midwifes that stayed outside the room for one birth and permitted me to birth in the water for the second :) Reading your story I saw myself give birth to my 2 little girls quietly, letting my body do the magic. When asked if my labour was painfull, I answer no. I actually fell asleep! (Labour only lasted 4h and 2h) Meditation helped me through it!! Your story is inspiring and hopefully for the next one, my wishes will be respected and I will stand my ground :) Again, WOW :)

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Dina Mander-Jones October 16, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Thanks for sharing your sacred experience. Love seeing the photo of you and baby girl…. Now I know who I am speaking to sometimes <3
I used to dream about Heaven…. & that if I were really good here, that Heavenly Father would let me experience "a real birth" with my own body, somehow. My children's father ran off with another woman before our ninth baby was born. The grief at the loss of our perfect forever family consumed me for many years. I had another child 6 years after that. She was a beautiful blessing that reminded me who I was! The last few years…. By some miracle my broken spirit and broken heart have been healed. I know I can birth a baby- I envision it almost exactly the way you have written this. I was in labour for a couple of days with the last two babies….. And when the contractions began to become serious- I'd go to hospital for the section….. Just because that was all I knew. I realize now, that I could have just chosen to let my body and baby do what it does know how to do. It's still a dream that I visualize. Thanks for sharing your faith, hope and experience- makes my vision more real. XO

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Devra February 25, 2012 at 11:06 pm

I LOVE hearing about other unassisted birthers! We just had our third (first was horrific hospital but still vaginal, thank G-D!) at home, hubby doing the honors while managing to babysit the other three. My labor was 22 hours and overall, very similar to your experience. With each birth, my husband and I get closer to each other and to G-d. It’s an amazing, intimate, spiritual experience. I can relate. Congrats!!!

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Leah February 26, 2012 at 12:22 am

Thank you for sharing I have had 2 births that were in hospital settings with epidurals, and Im convinced the next one will be natural and the more I can learn hopefully the more I will trust myself and have the courage to do so threw stories like yours so thank you.

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Lauren April 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Such a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing, and I can totally understand why you wouldn’t want to share the intimate moments. They really are personal. It’s like sharing intercourse with your partner details with everyone online. I love stories like this! I ended up in the hospital with my daughter’s birth, but planned a natural homebirth with a midwife. I still did it naturally, but it wasn’t my “dream” birth that I wanted. I am planning another home birth, and this time pray that my pregnancy and birth go better this time. Again, thank you for sharing!

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Megan Casey July 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Really you look like a model in the after pic. I can imagine what I looked like after birth 3 hours, there are no pictures on purpose. God bless your newest pregnancy hope its as great an experience as this birth was.

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Jessie G. January 29, 2013 at 1:24 pm

If you don’t mind me asking… how old was your oldest at the time?

I hope to havea HBAC this time around. I had an unmedicated VBAC in 2011. I have faith in my body and I want to do it at home this time around.

I have a 9 year old (C-section) and since you mentioned your oldest cutting the cord, I thought to myself – how neat it that! i could totally see our oldest doing that — so I wondered, how old was your oldest at this time?

Beautiful story, BTW! Thanks for sharing!

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Sara February 21, 2013 at 1:44 pm

Thanks so much for your story. I am 5.5 months pregnant and am planning an UC for the birth of our second daughter. We had a beatiful 6h midwife attended home birth with our first. This time around every bone in my body is telling me that free birth is for us. What I’m finding the hardest info to find online is about checking for tearing after birth. I had second degree tears with the first and am just u sure about how I’m going to know if I need to go get looked at after the birth. I feel strongly that I’m not going to year like that this time around as I feel that I will be better able to listen to my body with no interruptions but I still need more info just in case. If anyone had input please share. Thanks

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Crystal June 24, 2013 at 10:14 pm

Ahhh. I need to re-read this again before my next baby.

I had a homebirth turned c-section 5 months ago. I have very few negative feelings about how my daughter’s birth transpired, but I so desperately want my homebirth next time. Hopefully since its not a complete unknown this time I can give myself over completely to the process.

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Kimberly June 24, 2013 at 10:20 pm

Beautiful! The best pictures are the ones right after birth. Youre so beautiful and I can see all the fantastic things going on in your head. :]

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Linda June 24, 2013 at 11:45 pm

Congrats on the natural birth of your daughter. And I LOVE how you didn’t cut the cord until 3 hours after birth. What an AMAZING gift to let your daughter be able to actually absorb all of those nutrients that she needs. I wish that doctors, hospitals and midwives did this because it would be so beneficial to the babies. Love your story. You are a strong woman.

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candice n June 25, 2013 at 12:51 am

I dream of my next birth to be like this. my first was a nightmare :( LOVE haring stories of amazing home births especially vbac home births! which is what I will be if I am blessed with another child.

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sara September 3, 2013 at 2:17 pm

i don’t know how your hair managed to stay so picture perfect through all that labor! congratulations.

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Erica September 3, 2013 at 3:13 pm

I loved this!! Thank you for sharing this – it was really inspiring and beautiful!!

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Theresa September 28, 2013 at 11:52 am

Awesome mama!
I’m planning an UC with our second baby and am searching for ideas on what mamas have used to help slow/stop bleeding if it appears to be too much? (Other than uterine massage and nursing).
I look forward to empowering myself these last 19 weeks of our pregnancy through your website <3

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