To my little sister,
You’re 38 weeks pregnant now, and as you approach your ‘due date’, there are some things I want you to know.
This time is sacred. I bet you hate hearing that, but it is. Right now your baby is listening to your heartbeat, sleeping and moving and safe within you. Women look at you, and envy your position. You are at the most sacred moment of life, you reflect the divinity of the feminine existence. Right now you hold the energy of the universe; the reason why there is life on Earth. Right now your body is sustaining two lives.
It’s uncomfortable. Hell, yes it is. You’re tired, and with every right to be. You’re angry and hey, that’s ok – you’ve got a flood of hormones making you feel like you could simultaneously cry, scream and laugh. Your feet hurt. Your legs hurt. Your back hurts. Your breasts hurt. It’s likely you’ve also got some morning sickness, along with cravings, which is kind of a sad and ironic combination.
You’re scared. You’re wondering ‘how will I do this’. Your son becomes a big brother. Your love multiplies, along with the stress. The laundry, the cleaning, the bathing, the sleeping… it’s already hard and what if it gets harder? You’re sick of the worry, you just want the baby here so you can get on with it. You’re feeling impatient; you want this new chapter to just start already.
The birth. Then there’s the birth. Intense and powerful. In some ways, the second time around is easier, and in some ways so much harder.
But I want to tell you a secret.
It’s a secret of the sisterhood.
It’s a secret that I want to share with you, that I’ve known about you my whole life.
It’s that you can do it.
You’re my little sister but now you’re a woman, about to become a mother of two. Look at you, you’re growing a baby. You created life. You’re a mother and a woman; you’re part of the divine feminine, a sisterhood of mothers who have felt the energy of the universe within them and then given it to the world. You are strong. Two or three or four more weeks of pregnancy is tough, but you can do it. Birth is intense, but you are strong. Being a mother to two amazing – you don’t love either one less than the other, you love them uniquely, and you marvel at their being and their individuality.
I can hardly believe that my sister, who used to steal my baby doll or run around chasing the ram in the back paddock or throws sticks on cars from up on the cliff, has become a 25 year old woman who knows the strength and the secrets of life, of adulthood, of womanhood. I’d like to think I helped, that I’ve been an ok big sister, but the truth is you’d have done it regardless. You’re strong, you’re powerful. You’re a woman in a million different ways – a sister, a daughter, a mother, a lover, and independent soul with hopes and dreams with determination. You can be anything, do anything, have anything, create anything. From two tiny cells you’ve given your energy to make a baby. Making anything else is no where near as hard as that.
You’ll have a newborn, a tiny creature, and you’ll see your son grow before your eyes, and it will be bittersweet: your heart will ache at the thought of him growing up while bursting with pride at him taking on a whole new role. You’ll see your new baby and wonder where your first tiny baby went. And you’ll cry, and they’ll be hot tears of joy and regret wondering if you’ve ‘done the right thing’ by adding to your family, but it’ll be ok. Baby blues are painful but after a week you should start feeling better.
Enjoy these last weeks, as uncomfortable as they are. You hold the energy of the universe within you. My little sister, I’m proud of you. Slow down, there’s no need to rush these days. Your baby will come, days will pass into weeks – months – years, one day this moment will be a distant memory you can barely catch: B’s baby talk, his baby walk, the one inside you moving and waiting until the perfect time to enter the world…
Time will pass, as time always does, and things will happen, as things always do. You’ll get there. You’ll birth. You’ll bring a new life to this world. Now is the time for waiting, for capturing your breath, for clearing your head, for making memories and preparing to meet your bundle. Perfection cannot be hurried. Masterpieces are done when they are done. One day you’ll miss this. Make sure you remember it.