As many of you know, we announced the pregnancy of our 6th child recently!
As a blogger, I waited as long as I felt I could before sharing. Why you ask? Because people can suck. If you’ve been on the internet at all you know I’m not being mean, just stating the truth. I really did not want to put up with judgments and opinions about my pregnancy, birth, and life.
If you had asked me a week ago what I thought I’d have to worry about, I would have said maybe having a sixth child and ‘overpopulating the earth’ or maybe people going on about what kind of birth I will have. Surprisingly that did not happen (yet). The response was wonderful, supportive, and people are excited for us.
Until I posted a picture of a latte. A Pumpkin Spice Latte. So beautiful.
The Birth Without Fear Instagram is usually laid back and judgment-free, but people started arguing if it was healthy and okay if I drank a coffee while pregnant. I was quite dumbfounded. I mean, here I am, excited about #allthepumpkin and people are freaking out. I dedicate more hours than I care to admit to serve women, empower them, inspire them to love themselves and take control of their births and lives, and people are going to give me a hard time over coffee?
Then people didn’t like that I had another coffee and I made it clear I wouldn’t accept the judgment or hate and that I am in charge of my own body. I’m on my 6th kid y’all, I think I’ve got this. I won’t post it all here as you can go look yourself.
Let me make one thing clear. Being quiet is not an option for me. It’s not who I am. Telling me to stop talking about it and be quiet fuels a fire in me. It’s why there is a Birth Without Fear! Women should not be quiet about being mistreated. Ever.
Thousands of women have come to my defense (thank you!), but others just can not let it go. Telling me I’m a bad influence, that I’m offensive (for drinking coffee), that I don’t care about my babies, and of course I’m a bitch, etc. These are women who are not perfect, who benefit from my hard work, who I’ve supported and who even have pictures of their own lattes on their Instagram accounts. It’s madness.
Let me tell you what my care providers think…
My midwife asked me out to lunch and coffee.
My OB is stunned I’m getting crap over coffee. He also agreed with me that it wasn’t a crack pipe and sent me on my way stating that my baby and I are in perfect health.
I’ve had a hard pregnancy, with being very nauseas and traveling a lot, as well as working and a mom to five children. They want me to simply drink and eat what I can and so far I seem to be doing a good job.
Coffee Intake When Pregnant
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) states that moderate caffeine intake — less than 200 milligrams a day — won’t increase their risk of miscarriage or preterm birth.
The same cannot be said for higher amounts of caffeine, the group states in the August issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology.
“For years, women have been getting mixed messages about whether or not they should have any caffeine during pregnancy,” says William H. Barth Jr., MD, chair of ACOG’s committee on obstetric practice, in a news release. “After a review of the scientific evidence to date, daily moderate caffeine consumption doesn’t appear to have any major impact in causing miscarriage or preterm birth.”
The risks depend on the person, as with anything else, and most issues from caffeine intake are from extreme or high amounts of intake on a daily basis. This is not only from coffee, but sodas and teas as well. Here is a chart to help you know how much caffeine is in different drinks you may enjoy.
Bottom line: Do your own research. Talk to your care providers. Make your own choices. Don’t judge others if their choice is different than yours.
Recommended Reading
The Harshē Podcast – Episode #80: Top 9 of 2019!
The Harshē Podcast – Episode #74: “What’s Next, January?”
The Harshē Podcast – Episode #73: ‘Those Women’ Talk Postpartum!
The Harshe Podcast – Episode #71: Sniveling Drivel
The Harshe Podcast – Episode #68: Show the F*ck Up!
The Harshe Podcast – Episode #66: Netflix Is In The Index!
The Harshe Podcast – Episode #65: If Cellulite Is Cute On Babies, It’s Cute On Me
The Harshe Podcast – Episode #64: Changing the Postpartum Conversation
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The Harshe Podcast – Episode #61: Home [Birth] Is Where The Heart Is
82 Comments
Elizabeth
You go January!
Keep doing what your doing! You empower many women don’t let the bad ones get to you. Congratulations, and many wishes and blessing to you and your family 🙂
Cindy
I drank coffee with my baby, with 4 kids that cup of coffee was my life saver some days just to make it past 4 pm to dinner, baths, homework, hubby getting off work then bedtime. With a husband that works until mid evening i didn’t always have that help most get in evenings. Coffee helped tremendously. Good for you for doing what you feel is best for you and your baby!!!
Cameron
Coffee, raw milk, raw cheese, cookie dough, red wine…it’s all good! I have a healthy baby and had a drug free labor. It’s all about the moderation people! Plus, I am pretty sure with 5 kids and one on the way, you AT LEAST deserve a cup of coffee (or some sips of wine)
Nicole
Amen sister! I religiously Google caffeine contents to ensure i’m under the 200 mg per day! I also love that Dunkin might as well be decaf so I can drink a large iced coffee guilt-free. My favorite website is caffieneinformer.com – they have every drink on every menu of every major coffee establishment.
I get crap from people so I just tell them Mayo Clinic says it’s okay and continue to enjoy my delicious “crack”
Erin
No matter what, people are always going to judge you. Especially since you have A TON of followers, they feel like you need to always be on your “A” game and best behavior. They forget that you are just like them….a human being. Shame on them for trying to make you feel bad about your choices. I read a lot of your comments and I love how tactful you are. Where there are a few women out there shaming you on your choices, there are plenty more praising you for being real. I too am pregnant and love to enjoy my morning coffee 🙂 Shame on me too, right?! Congrats on your 6th blessing and enjoy your PSL!
Dana Wood
I am a coffee fanatic! I mean I drink it all day, every day and don’t think twice about it. Sometimes it is the only nourishment I have whilst cleaning the house, running errands and getting stuff done.
I started drinking half-caf coffee and cutting back on tea when my fiancé and I decided that we were ready to start trying to have a baby. It took 8 months for me to get pregnant the first time. I was not very happy giving up my caffeine but kept telling myself it was for the health of my baby. I had an ectopic rupture/miscarriage at 8 weeks and nearly died. My fiancé and I decided that it was worth trying one more time. This whole time of emotional, mental & physical healing I continued to monitor my caffeine intake and hated it.
6 months to the day after my miscarriage I found out I was pregnant again! I was elated and terrified!!! I am 34 years old and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 12 weeks pregnant this go around. That is irritating, infuriating and just a pain in the butt. But, I decided early on that I didn’t want a monster baby OR to be on insulin @ 8-9 months pregnant. I have followed my diet adjustments; not drank juice or milk or eaten a lot of fruit, stayed away from pastas and sweets. I reward myself with coffee, I don’t overdo my limit, but oh how I relish those few quiet moments with that warm cup in my hand. My baby is 100% healthy, growing & measuring right on target and my sugars have been in constant supervision. I have no reservations about treating myself to a regular ‘leaded’ cup of coffee each after noon about 2pm.
After all I have gone through to be a mom to this little miracle growing in my belly- I believe a cup of coffee is just what this momma needs to make it through the rest of her day. Bottoms up!
Lauren
Also the PSL is a special seasonal drink that only comes around once a year, so you have to get it while you can! 🙂 I am sorry that some of your social media followers are not as loving or supportive as you are to all of them equally. Thank you for all you do 🙂
Marie Annin
I was blown away by the negative posts from followers. You have always supported women and their birth journeys, you have always supported education about birth, and I’ve never seen you judge anyone for their choices. It lit a fire in me too – I wanted to call them all out for being so rude and mean to you.
Thank you for supporting women – for supporting me. Thank you for standing up for yourself and not being silent.
Amanda
Yes Yes Yes! Drink your pumpkin caffeine and enjoy. I never gave up coffee either. My body. My choice. Your body. Your choice. People are so quick to say that for themselves but then want to turn around and tell others what to do with their bodies. Nope. Do your research and make decisions for yourself. Couldn’t have said it better myself. 🙂
Nicole
I totally support women doing their own research and making their own choices!
A book that really helped me do this is Expecting Better: Why Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong–and What You Really Need to Know by Emily Oster: http://tinyurl.com/lkmxulo. She has a whole section on coffee, which I definitely drank while pregnant, and which definitely made for a much happier pregnancy for me.
Oster is an economist at the University of Chicago. She is not a trained doctor, but she knows how to interpret data and how to evaluate whether a medical study had enough quality data to draw conclusions from, and that’s exactly what she does in this book. She looks at all the research on common pregnancy questions, such as eating seafood/deli meats/soft cheeses/etc., drinking coffee, exercising, and more. I found this book invaluable in helping me understand what was really at stake (some say not to drink coffee, but why?) and what the research indicated. With that information, I was able to make my own informed decisions. I can’t recommend it enough.
And I have no association with the author or the publishing company, I just really, really love the book!
Erin
Drinking a pumpkin spice latte as a sign of solidarity today sister!! (Any excuse for a PSL)
Melissa
I drank coffee my entire pregnancy, and my parents brought me my special drink on their way to see the baby! No damage done and my baby is 3 months old and very healthy. My midwife encouraged me to drink it and told me it was safe. Bottom line: I listened to my body; made an informed decision for my body and baby and didn’t listen to folks who wanted to make me feel bad. Go get that pumpkin spice latte!!
amanda cain
I had a cup of coffee every day of my pregnancy! It was my treat to myself! And now a year later and still nursing my daughter I still have a cup a day. Sometimes an extra one if i run into a starbucks! Baby is perfect and im sane! Rock on mama! Drink all the coffee!
Amanda Whitley
I’m 21 weeks today with my first child – at 35. I had a PSL this morning. I have drastically reduced my caffeine intake compared to pre-TTC – from half a pot a day to decaf 5 out of 7 days a week. That said, I enjoyed every delicious moment of this morning’s treat. And to quote my mother: “I drank nothing but coffee and Diet Dr. Pepper the whole time I was pregnant with you, and you turned out just fine except for that twitch.” So to Hades with the haters. I also enjoy, with the permission of my OB, sushi, medium rare steak, vast quantities of unsweetened iced tea, and the occasional beer or glass of wine.
I’m looking forward to meeting you in Austin’s BWF conference. The stories shared here have given me courage, insight, and perspective in my own struggles to conceive and have the birth and child of my dreams. Thank you for providing a forum for pregnancy and birthing education.
Blayke
Fuck everyone I drank coffee atleast one a day sometimes maybe two from Starbucks the last four months off pregnancy an my daughter is perfectly healthy my midwife told me one a day is perfectly fine people just like to judge to make themselves feel like a better person
Norma
I am a Midwife and I drank coffee throughout my ENTIRE pregnancy! Only one coffee in the morning but I couldn’t live without it! Baby was and is well and was born at 39+4.
I cannot believe how people can be so mean and judgemental sometimes. I admire you and your wonderful work January! Best wishes for your pregnancy xx
Hope Speaker
I drank coffee every day while I was pregnant. Probably more than I should have. Glad that I was never given a hard time at Starbucks– I quit smoking the minute I saw that second line, and gave up drinking (which I would do socially at least three nights a week) as well. I’ll be damned if coffee was going too! It was a big enough struggle as it is. You don’t know where other people are coming from, so there is no need to judge so harshly!
Cassandra
Sheesh! I’m also expecting number six and the first two of my pregnancies my husband was a manager for Starbucks. I have never blinked an eye at a cup of coffee during pregnancy. Without the coffee, my kids would have a pretty grumpy mom. Coffee drinkers unite!
Katie
In the world of Birth Without Fear there is no room for judgement. I am so sorry that you have received such backlash (especially over something so silly) and I feel for the women who are taking too much time away from their own lives to worry about yours. Be strong. As you said, you’ve done this a few times before. You’ve got this whole pregnancy thing down!
Lil
That’s so silly. I wish I didn’t lose my taste for coffee during my pregnancies because if I could I would totally rock the lattes. Drink up! And thank you for your service to all of us. I am due in February as well.
Audrey
Love this!!! I have 4 children and consume coffee while pregnant with all of them. In moderation, of course. They are all just fine!! I have always been one to tell people where to take their opinions, so I really enjoy reading your blog!!!! Keep at it and congratulations on #6 and the pumpkin latte!!!!!
Staci
Amen sister! I’m so glad you wrote this post and voiced how you felt!!! I always tell my clients coffee and tea are fine in moderation but I would never judge them or spew so much hate.
El A RAYA
Damnit now I want a pumpkin latte
emily
Enjoy your coffee mama! I’m a mama of 5 as well and have enjoyed coffee more and more with each pregnancy 🙂
Gaby
i think the problem people may have is more with the TYPE of coffee rather than coffee itself. organic fair trade is wonderful, but GMO ridden, chemical filled starbucks pumpkin spice is something non preggers are avoiding, because like you know, knowledge is power. even obgyns encourage women to eat organic! now i don’t know you or your life, and i’m sure having one in a great while isn’t a biggie… but the judgement comes in whenever a pregnant woman does something that even non pregos would be judged for. like drinking multiple diet sodas a day, or smoking << those are bad even not pregnant, and even worse when.
jenn
…EVERYTHING holds a risk as a parent.. “What! you gave them solid food…ever…?! They could choke!” (you are abhorrent to everything maternal!) You DROVE a motor vehicle while pregnant!? What if you got into an accident!” (you are inexcusably reckless!) “You co sleep?! Do you know how many babies are smothered!!!” (your child should be taken from you!” (you should never have had children!) “What, you put your baby in a crib! He is going to be psychologically crippled and never going to have a functioning relationship in adulthood!” (You neglectful bitch!)
So my point? You can’t win. You simply cannot. The above is the collective voice of the parenting internet and if you put your “pseudo child abuse de jour” out there for all to critique, then you know what you are walking into. Half the people are going to viciously despise you because you made them question their risk assessment and the other half will passionately agree with you. The portion of people with children who are actually horrible, evil people that everyone DOES agree on…are not hanging out on parenting blogs sooooo… you are the next best thing (so yes…crack does equal coffee…).
But if we are airing our dirty laundry…once I took an Advil when I was pregnant because Tylenol won’t touch my second trimester migraines…and another time…maybe even in the same pregnancy I ate three chocolate bars in one sitting. Putting my caffeine intake well into the overdose category I am sure. *ducking and covering now* Surely only by the grace of God is my baby okay!
Stacy
I completely agree with you. People should not judge others based on their own beliefs of what is right and wrong. I think that as long as a woman is communicating with her OB/midwife about her diet and is keeping it as well within recommendations as possible, then she is doing a great job for herself and her baby. When I was pregnant I went completely caffeine free even though my midwives told me that I could have some in moderation. But I’ll be the first to admit that I went a little overboard on how careful I was about what I ate or put in my body while I was pregnant, because it was my first baby and probably my only. I recognize that this was my choice though, and it isn’t the same for every woman. As long as you aren’t doing anything too harmful for your baby and you are following a good diet plan that you put together with your OB/midwife, then there really is no issue. Do your research, talk to your OB/midwife and do what’s right for you.
Jamie
I love your article. So many people gave me a hard time because I didn’t give up drinking coffee during my pregnancy. My OB basically told me “more power to you!” He said that drinking coffee was perfectly fine. I cutback on the amount I drank, but I surely didn’t give it up. The one thing my OB said to me that really stuck with me was “don’t change too many of your food intake habits drastically, including coffee.” Our bodies are amazing things and people can sometimes put unnecessary stress on their bodies by cutting out foods and beverages they typically consume in a drastic way. I just drank caffeine in moderation and my little man is perfect. He’s hyper as all get out, but that has nothing to do with me drinking caffeine while pregnant. It’s in his genes because I don’t give him a lot of juices and sugar. Congrats on your pregnancy!
Raina
Thank you for speaking up about this! Just last week I was drinking a Dr. Pepper and someone said “I thought you were pregnant…” as they stared at the can I was drinking out of. That was all they said, but it made me mad. Of course, I know soda may not be the best for me even when I’m not pregnant, but it’s my choice!
Keep drinking your coffee, and I’ll keep drinking mine. And I bet our babies will be healthy, happy, and won’t care that we had some caffeine along the way.
Rachel
My OB and midwife actually recommended I start drinking coffee as a treatment for migraines during pregnancy. I sure would rather be taking caffeine than pain or migraine medication!
Mandi
Drink your coffee and enjoy! I suffer from hg and my midwife wants me to take in any calories that I can, a large % of that comes from the soda I drink everyday. She is fully aware of my caffeine intake and is far more concerned over the 30+lbs I’ve already lost at only 18wks. Whenever anyone has come at me with negative comments on my choices I remind them that this is baby #4, I have the full support of my midwife, and that when my cherry coke turns into crack I will be open to discuss the choices I make for myself and my baby until then they can keep their comments to themselves.
Aly
I support you sista! Enjoy the latté!
Kerrie
Amen sister!
Rashan
You and your page posts have been so inspiring to me and as im sure you know countless others. My first pregnancy my husband was concerned about my coffee intake. My second he was more relaxed. I know its a hot subject like everything concerning everything these days. I am so sorry so many use hateful words towards you for having free will and choice. Judgement is not for us. Only the one doing the action can say whether or not it is right for them. I know its just another voice in support of your freedom to chose. You are a great inspiring person, you are and bring out the BWF in so many.
Jessica West
I remember this. Although the worst time was when I actually had a hot chocolate (for my husband no less!) From a cafe, and this lady came up and whacked it out of my hands so it spilt over me! She then berated me for having a coffee! I told her it was a “f***ing HOT hot chocolate for my husband” and she just walked off. Not even a sorry. I got first degree burns and it made my dermatitis rash worse…
I drank coffee and tea through both pregnancies, in moderate amounts. I really don’t understand why people have a god at pregnant women for “doing this” or “not doing that”. Its ridiculous.
Amy Pearson
Amen! Drink that coffee mama!!
Sharni
Congratulations on your pregnancy and it being your sixth!!!! Very exciting!! I am 6 weeks away from having my 7th and am just as excited like I was for the others!
Like anything loads of people jump on the band wagon about every little thing that maybe consider even the smallest bit “dangerous” or unhealthy. Pfft! Coffee! My philosophy is that ‘if its going to make you a wee bit happier, more comfortable, feel good about yourself (within reason of course) then it can only be good for you. Women take things to the extreme, don’t drink any coffee, tea, don’t eat ice cream! (I know) and don’t die their hair! It should be a personal thing but like all things in pregnancy and motherhood it becomes part of the ‘Mama Wars’ – whose the better mama than who! I get so sick of it! Anyway rant over now!! Bless you and the work you do!
Shannon
THANK YOU for posting this!
I made a lot of research-based choices during my pregnancy that seem to get other women (and occasionally men) all riled up about my body and what I’m putting into it. Basically, I wanted to take an “anti-fragile” approach to my pregnancy, instead of acting like I had some kind of baby-production-disease that magically transformed every food I like into a weapon. (Which is how it feel sometimes.)
I decided that caffeine wasn’t a huge deal. I have a few cups a week. Sometimes two in a single day if I want. Sometimes none if it feels like maybe my body doesn’t want it. In my first trimester, I had an occasional 1/2 glass of wine (usually that was all, because of nausea and my wacky taste buds more than anything), and now that I’m in my second trimester, I have a few glasses a week. No biggie. And if you are pregnant out there and decided that you don’t want to drink any coffee or wine while you’re pregnant, well that’s your choice, and no biggie there, either. I dig it. I support your choices even if they’re not the same as mine. You’re entitled to them! Yay!
Now, if I was out and about with my baby bump and a crack pipe, I do hope someone would take it away from me. But coffee isn’t crack. I repeat: COFFEE ISN’T CRACK.
Jaclyn
I drank coffee while pregnant, how silly of anyone to judge for that!! Im a bit shocked and disappointed in women sometimes! Yay for coffee!!
Kat
Hmm.. Really??? I don’t think I EVER had a convo with any of my midwives (I have 3 kids) about caffeine… Maybe it’s not such a hot topic here in the UK?? Although the youngest is 6 now, maybe it’s all changed. Surely it’s the same as anything – it all has to be in moderation. Common sense and all that jazz!!! #confusedbyarbitraryjudgements 😉
Anna
To each their own is exactly right. People judge for every different decision we make and it’s unnecessary and hurtful. I hope that this can be quiet now and you can go back to enjoying life and PSL without this noise.
Anna
Melanie Willis
Good informative post January, Shake the haters off bc we all know U ARE STRONG. I am emailing you my I am strong story again I hope u share it one day! U have inspired me so much <3
Laurel
I have to laugh at so much vitriol about coffee! I think at #6 you’ve proven you know what you’re doing! In any case, live and let live. We’re all doing our best and you are an amazing inspiration. I’m all for “whatever I can eat, eat!” Morning sickness is no joke.
Congratulations! And I hope everyone can relax and find what in their lives they’d like to change, as they shan’t make a difference being uppity about someone else’s caffeine intake.
Sarah V
I have had coffee through each of my pregnancies…one of which I was finishing nursing school. I am a healthy person. I am active, I eat fruits, vegetables, and mostly organic and whole foods. I do not drink (not really even when I am not creating a human inside my womb)…coffee is my vice, my comfort, my indulgence, it makes me HAPPY!
Drink your coffee girl, feel fine about it. My kids are healthy wonderful people. It is annoying when baristas ask…”Decafe?…” after I order 🙂 You do amazing things and drinking coffee probably helps you feel normal and gives you a treat. ENJOY!
Karen
Omfg really?
Hunni, you are an inspiration to literally 1000″s of amazing people. Don’t listen to your haters.
Ps I loooooove that latte. I’m so jealous.
Pps congrats on growing another human!!! Again, I’m so jealous
Ppps keep up being awesome!
dana
I can’t stay vertical without a cafe au lait or cappuchino. Sugar affects me more than caffeine, so I limit that instead. But, I would really like a donut with my coffee……. 🙂
Sarah.
I was drinking at least 3+ coffees a day the last couple of months because I have been extra tired and not even knowing at all that I was pregnant..
Funny thing is, I found out I was pregnant when I was 6 months along lol.. So once I found out I stopped coffee/alcohol ect..
I told my doctor Im missing my coffees in the morning, and she told me that coffee is okay just don’t go over board !
I also asked 2 midwives if I could have coffee, because I still wasnt sure, and they said the exact same thing ! I can have coffee, just not 100 of them a day !.
So I’ve been having at least 1-2 a day.. not everyday, but the days I feel like I really need it !.
It’s the people that probs are first time pregnancies that are following every single rule in the book..
But 2 doctors told me that back in their day, they didnt have any rule when they were pregnant and their kids turned out absolutely fine !..
So
They all wanted tell me all this, if their was an actual serious risk of losing my baby ! :).
Adrienne Roweton
Thank you! I’ve done my own research on this as well. I’m 27 weeks pregnant and just had my first batch of a McDonald’s mocha frappe! Because I’ve been doing extensive research! I finally feel okay to drink one cup of coffee every so often. It’s taken me 27 weeks to feel comfortable with this! Your article and the research you have done matches all the research I’ve done over the past 27 weeks! 🙂 You go girl! 🙂
Jen@PlusSizeBirth
My goodness! People sit behind the comfort of a keyboard and think they are all knowledgeable and powerful. Thank you for being you and doing all that you do!
Krystal
Drink that coffee! You deserve it! I have a cup of coffee a day (sometimes even 2!) I have cut down on caffeine intake since being pregnant with baby #2… but I’m not a nice person if I go without it! Lol it makes me a better mom, wife and helps me get through my work day! And my Dr has no problem with my choices! (((I actually can’t eat salad with this pregnancy, 4 days before my 3rd Trimester and it still makes me sick! My Dr is fine with that too!))) Do what works for you Momma! 🙂