When my oldest was a year old, a friend told me that my baby and I couldn’t be as bonded as her and her baby because we bottlefed and she breastfed. I wasn’t necessarily offended, as I was confused. I had a very deep bond with my baby and was madly in love her, so how could she claim that? To this day my daughter and I have a special connection.
What pretentious, judgmental bullshit that was. It is absolutely ridiculous when mothers judge each other over breastfeeding and bottlefeeding (it goes both ways). I am not talking about educating or sharing information, but flat out arguing, being snobby, gossiping, and being hateful. If a baby is fed and everyone is happy, keep your mouth shut and fingers off the keyboard.
My goodness ladies, there are bigger problems! Like hungry babies fucking dying. If you are so upset that you need to tear another mother down, get on a damn plane and fly somewhere and nurse those babies. Or feed people in your community because there are starving children right in your neighborhood!
You don’t think women who feed their babies formula know breast is best? No shit. But you know what? You aren’t living their life. You aren’t dealing with their past abuse issues, or postpartum depression and anxiety, or cracked bleeding nipples, or whatever else led to their choice.
A woman wants to cover or not when she nurses, that’s her choice. She wants to nurse her two or three year old, not your problem.
NEWS FLASH: You don’t have to always share your opinions. <— Read it again. Wish I realized that in my 20’s.
So, let me tell you about these two pictures.
Both are same mom, same baby, same day. Both are of a mom who loves her baby with every fiber of her being. Both are of a baby who is loved, fed, sheltered, and adored. Both are of a mom and baby bonding. Both have a baby’s tummy getting full. Both are of a mom doing what she feels best at the given time. There are more similarities than differences.
Mamas, you do you and let others be them without your opinions. Breastfeed without fear, bottle-feed without fear, pump without fear, just feed those babies! We are all in the trenches of motherhood together and we are all going through our own struggles and journeys. Remember when we take a stand to take back postpartum, we also embrace variations of normal. So be a nice fucking human and raise kind people, because that’s what our babies need.
Recommended Reading
Motherhood Temper Tantrums
Ordinary is Amazing, Even in Motherhood
Practicing Fearless Motherhood {in Brazil}
The Harshē Podcast – Episode #76: Mothering Your Way
The Harshe Podcast – Episode #66: Netflix Is In The Index!
The Harshe Podcast – Episode #65: If Cellulite Is Cute On Babies, It’s Cute On Me
The Harshe Podcast – Episode #64: Changing the Postpartum Conversation
The Harshe Podcast – Episode #47: “Is Postpartum Six Weeks?”
Say It: “I Am Magical As F***.”
The “…Without Fear” Webinar Series
3 Comments
Ashe
“Breast or bottle, all that matters is that you feed your baby with love.” 🙂
Pregnant Eve
Every word you wrote is true. People should be concerned about taking care of their babies to the best of their abilities and not put other moms down for such inane reasons. To each her own…
Conceive Success
It is so sad how we women pull each other down just to prove we are better or stronger at doing something. I breast fed my first baby for over 1 year. But for my second baby I couldn’t just bear the pain.
In the end both babies are both health and fine. Now that they are grown, no one knows the difference unless you tell.
When it comes to pregnancy, baby and parenting; it is better yo do what works best for you. No size fits all we are all different and our babies are different as well.