Enlighten Thy Neighbor…on Due Dates!

by Birth Without Fear on February 6, 2011

Jean O’Neil, a Birth Without Fear mama, shared this story with us. I think it demonstrates how to educate people when you start getting comments such as, “You look like you are going to pop!” or “THEY are going to LET you go past your due date?” or “Isn’t that dangerous?”, etc.

So, here is Jean’s enlightening story:

Tomorrow is my ‘due date’ and today I went out shopping with my hubby and children. I ran into an old workmate (male) who questioned when I was due. Having told him he stepped back like I was literally going to “babysplode” all over the floor.

He then asked when I thought I’d have bubs.
I said in 3weeks probably.

Him: “But they won’t let you go over.”
Me: “Who won’t?”
Him: “Your Doctors or the hospital.”
Me: *Scoff* “No Doctor will tell me when to birth my baby.”
Him: “It’s dangerous though.”

At this point hubby got involved…

Hubby: “Baby will come when it’s ready. They release a hormone that signals the readiness of their lungs.”
Him: “Really?”
Me: “Yes. It’s actually worse to make a baby come before their ready. 44weeks isn’t dangerous, it’s normal.”
Him: “Wow, you learn something new everyday!”

Props to my hubby who is actually listening to my lectures! LOL

Jean and her hubs ROCK! Now share this and educate your friends, family and neighbors!

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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Brooke February 6, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Wow! Love this.

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Tara February 6, 2011 at 8:25 pm

That’s wonderful. Modern thinking has become so infiltrated with overmedicalized birth that regular inductions and elected c-sections are considered normal and healthy, while a woman waiting until her baby is fully ready to be birthed is considered unsafe. Kudos to Jean and her hubs for keeping their cool, both with the workmate and with their due date!

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Danielle February 7, 2011 at 8:36 am

It is sad that the medical community is so into strandardizing birth and our society thinks a pregnant mama will be induced if she goes past her due date. So many people acted the same way towards us when I went 43 weeks. They said I was being selfish by not being induced, that something bad must be happening in there. Like what? Nuclear warfare?? Ha! We actually did induce at around 43 weeks due to signs that things were not normal. It is tough trying to explain that we didn’t induce because of the time factor. Its great that Jean and her husband could educate others about this issue.

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Alison Longley February 7, 2011 at 10:30 am

Absolutely, unless there is an indication that mom or baby are suffering or unhealthy, there is a very wide window of normal gestation! Besides which, very few women actually have a 28 day cycle and conceive on day 14, the idea of a 40 week gestational period and a set due date is based on averages, not on individual cycles.

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Emma February 10, 2011 at 8:28 am

I’m 38 weeks, and one of the 1st things my midwife did was to put my ‘due’ date back a few days so it gives baby more time to cook without anyone getting ‘anxious’. I recieved an email this morning saying ‘You are 38 weeks pregnant, only 2 weeks to go!’……. Hmmm, me thinks it like comparing a woman to a microwave oven! :)

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Melinda February 17, 2011 at 9:54 pm

I love this. I took my NCLEX on my “due date” and the next day was at my graduation for my LPN program with the army. On the commandants list and everything. Being in the army the class had to line up and shake hand with a LOT of people. They all kept asking “when are you due.” when I said yester their eyes got huge. I funny old lady whispered to me “go have sex… That baby will come in no time” I laughed, “well that’s how I hot where I am now eh?” I was so happy when he came 2 weeks later. The army wasn’t too keen on letting me go past 2 weeks. So he came the day before he was set to be induced.

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Luann February 17, 2011 at 11:13 pm

:smile: nicely done you two!

could you link me to some resources about the hormone the baby releases?

really would appreciate it.

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ccc February 18, 2011 at 9:56 pm

As a woman who has had eight home births and feels all women need to be empowered to make their own decisions regarding their birth, I just wanted to comment. Most “late” babies are conceived later in a woman’s cycle. I would not say it was normal to go up to 44 weeks unless you knew for sure you had conceived about a month later. I actually did have a baby come 21 days past her due date, but after two weeks I decided to get an ultrasound done to assess placental function and do a NST test to see how she was. It was found that I was not due yet and had conceived probably three weeks later than usual. So, of course I waited for her to come on her own. But, without this info., how could you tell someone to just wait up till 44 weeks? There are cases of fetal demise from going too far past the due date. I am all for empowering a woman with info. so that she can make a decision.

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Mrs. BWF February 18, 2011 at 10:25 pm

I appreciate what you are saying mama and you bring up a good point as to why due dates can be so inaccurate and I agree! For me personally I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my 3rd baby really was 43-44 weeks and my 4th baby, I knew the conception date and she was 42 1/2 weeks. Even knowing my ovulation/conception dates, I still cook healthy babies 42-44 weeks. :) I don’t tell women to do anything. I give information, tell them to educate themselves, listen to their own bodies, babies and intuition and do what is best for THEM.

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Thyme May 14, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I know when all three of my babies were conceived (fertility medicine) and all three of them were late. Baby #3 was 21 days late.

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Jodi February 19, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Hahahahaha! I’m going to be laughing about ‘babysplode’ for a while now!

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Hannah February 28, 2011 at 8:55 am

I’m with Jodi. “Babysplode” was my favorite part of this post. heheh.

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Sheila February 21, 2011 at 8:08 pm

I’m so glad you posted this. I mean, even 60 week gestations are totally normal. Women should fell totally empowered to ignore whatever their idiot doctor is telling them about fetal heart tones and what not. We know what’s best for our babies!

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Mrs. BWF February 21, 2011 at 8:35 pm

60 weeks?

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Amber February 26, 2011 at 2:47 pm

60 weeks?? Can you expand on this? I even tried googling it & haven’t found anything…

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Sheila February 22, 2011 at 6:57 am

Yeah, Ina May has even talked about it.

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lydia March 8, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Yes I have heard of it, every woman is so different. why put an expiration date on your own little miracle!

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Martha March 10, 2011 at 9:28 am

I went to 45 weeks and 5 days, trustting my body to do what god intented it to…and my baby apparently passed about 8 days prior to that..it was devastating and the guilt immense! And the whole time I thought I ws doing what was best for him, thought his reduced mouvement was due to the lack of pace!
Please take care of yourself, and your precious one!

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Mrs. BWF March 11, 2011 at 10:06 am

I am so sorry for your loss mama. (((hugs)))

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Melissa July 7, 2013 at 12:17 am

Devistating! I’m so sorry for your loss.

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Elisabeth October 27, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Ha, hate this one, lol, because I don’t WANT to go 44 weeks (I’m 39 and hoping for baby by 42 weeks because my folks coming out). But otherwise, LOVE it, good for you!

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Jami May 3, 2012 at 2:50 pm

i LOVE this!!
I had very similar experiences when i went past my due date. EDD was 7/4… actual delivery date- 07/12

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Thyme May 14, 2012 at 2:07 pm

My 3rd baby (now 5 weeks old) was born at 43 weeks. I got asked a lot if why my “doctor” (I didn’t tell them we were having a home birth) would LET me go that long. I replied that unless I was knocked unconscious I would remain pregnant until baby Z wanted to come out. The funnier question was, “What if he doesn’t come out?” Um, he will eventually come out. He isn’t going to stay in there forever! And he didn’t. My first two babies were forced out before they were ready and it was awful. Zachary was born at home with no complications at 43 weeks, a VBA2C. Although, he was a bit peely ;)

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sarah j November 5, 2012 at 1:20 am

The other day my friend said on facebook “baby will come this week! Hopefully or I don’t know what I will do!” And several people said things like “that’s what inductions are for” or “well hope he comes soon so you can get on with you life” (wth?! She’s keeping the baby!) And things like that. I just told her to enjoy being pregnant and the baby would come when she was ready. And not to worry. She just sort of laughed. It’s sad how people don’t trust their bodies any more. :/

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Megan Casey January 8, 2013 at 4:43 pm

I would LOVE to let this one cook as long as he wants but we have A LOT going on! And if I want Daddy there I may have to go early, I am 37 weeks ish (my dates are very unsure because of surprise pregnancy) I measure 41.5 wks so I pray I am in between. I have n0o family and if Daddy isnt there it very well could be just me. I am so scared to be alone but also know I can do it either way. For any that do I would ask for prayers for baby to come ready and healthy on his own asap!!
Even as I type I am contracting so I hope he comes soon. Good luck to all mommys with impending babies

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Christina Howker-Fullard May 24, 2013 at 4:50 pm

What’s the situation with ‘post-dates’ and vbac (well hbac actually!). I refused induction with my first baby as I wanted an all natural home birth. At 42 + 4, he began to make his way into the world. They tried to refuse me a homebirth because I had refused induction and gone ‘post-dates’, but I stood my ground. Unfortunately though, after 16 hours of wonderful peaceful home birth, that birth became an emergency C-section. I’m now planning my next baby and my gut feeling is that this one will want to go ‘post-dates’ too. I know that the NHS bods won’t want me to go post-dates OR have a homebirth after an emergency c/s. When I say I want to do both, I fear they will freak and I need to be armed with the facts!

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