After recently reposting 10 Stupid Things You Never Want to Say to a Pregnant Mama on Facebook, we received a flood of comments of more stupid things you never want to say to a pregnant mama. If you are pregnant, pass this on to all the non-pregnant people in your life. It just might save their life…or at the very least help them avoid a throat punch!
1.) “You’re huge. You should probably have a c-section.”
2.) “You’re really small. Have you stopped eating? That’s not good for the baby.”
3.) “Your plans for a VBAC might not happen, so why not just plan for a c-section now?”
4.) Anything said when accompanied by unsolicited belly rubs.
5.) “How are feeling? How are you feeling? How are you feeling? How are you feeling…” until you die.
6.) Boss to pregnant employee: “We NEED to get better birth control on our health care plan.”
7.) “Are you sure it’s only one?”
8.) “An early miscarriage is just like a heavy period.”
9.) If you have more than one or two kids: “Do you know where babies come from?” or “Do you know what causes that?”
10.) “Good luck!”
11.) “You still have three weeks left? That must be a big baby!”
12.) “You’re going to regret not being in the hospital when you want that epidural!”
13.) “Is your husband getting snipped after this one?” or “Are you getting your tubes tied after this one?”
14.) “Do you know how much that’s gonna hurt?”
15.) “You’re having a home birth? I wouldn’t want to put my baby in danger like that.”
16.) “You must be hormonal.”
17.) “You don’t get a trophy for having a natural birth.”
18.) “You haven’t had that baby yet?”
19.) If you tell someone you’re post dates: “Is the baby okay? It can die in there if it’s been in too long!”
20.) “You should breastfeed to lose weight.”
21.) If pregnant with an older child: “Wow! Your pregnancy must be an ‘Oops’!”
22.) “Are you trying for a boy?” or “Are you trying for a girl?”
23.) “Will your doctor ‘let’ you do that?”
24.) “Did you plan to have another one?”
25.) After telling someone you’re having a home birth: “I’ll pray for you.”
26.) If telling someone you’re having a home birth: “I have a cousin/aunt/sister who died during a home birth so you shouldn’t try it.” or “I heard about someone’s cousin/aunt/sister who died during a home birth so you shouldn’t try it.”
27.) If you have more than two kids: “Don’t you have TV/cable/satellite?”
28.) “Another boy/girl? You must be disappointed.”
29.) “Pregnancy isn’t a license to eat whatever you want.”
30.) “You should quit while you’re ahead.”
31.) “I noticed you were putting on weight.”
32.) “How do you plan to feed your baby?”
33.) “When will you go back to work?”
Thank you to all the Birth Without Fear readers for these comments!
Photos submitted by Nicole Diele and Shaamya Dishner.
FOLLOW UP POST ON WHAT TO SAY TO A PREGNANT WOMAN.
Guilty, oh so guilty. And I’ve had three…just so easy to forget how it is when you’re not pregnant-sensitive anymore.
We should make a list of what TO say! My favorite comment ever was from a man my dad’s age who said “there is nothing more beautiful than an expecting mother.” (In a totally not weird way.)
I have been trying for 3years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don’t know where else to turn. Until one day my friend introduce me to this great spiritualist who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this spiritualist native Iya basira after interaction with her she did a ritual for me and also instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with the my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one month i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant of female child. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant contact her email firstname.lastname@example.org
pretty sure no doctor can determine the sex of your child at 2 weeks :-/
Guilty on a few of those! Such a good reminder.
Yes, I agree with Gretchen, I would love a list of great things TO say that would mean a lot! Or are encouraging to hear!
I have one to add to your list. It was said to me twice yesterday. “You’re pregnant????”
I’m 35 weeks with my 4th baby. I’m not carrying small. My belly is high and round. So basically they just thought I’ve gained a bunch of weight in my midsection in the last few months. Did not feel good.
People said that to me my whole pregnancy! It really bothered me. I have a little extra weight, but my belly was so big and round, I couldn’t believe I was 9 MONTHS PREGNANT and people couldn’t tell. Eventually, when people said they didn’t know I was pregnant, I started responding with, “it’s because I’m ballerina thin.”
RE #25- I’ll take all the prayers I can get!
#10: Depends on how it’s said and their attitude in general. Everybody who wished me luck actually did mean it in the supportive way, like how you’d tell somebody going on a big interview they’re excited about and you’re sure they’ll get the job.
#26: I got the reverse of that one. “Oh yeah, my cousin/sister/aunt/neighbor/random-woman did it at home and they turned out fine.” Shocked the heck out of me. My baby’s PEDIATRICIAN even said “yeah, everything is probably going to start going back to the old ways, so I’m not surprised”. A doctor and the nursing staff were the last people I expected to be supportive!
“When will you go back to work?”
Around the time you start minding your own business! Maybe never!
This one really gets me. I’m a SAHM and sometimes I feel guilty about it. I miss working, but if I went back to work, I wouldn’t even be making enough to pay for childcare, so I don’t see the point. I find it repulsive that we live in a society that makes people feel guilty for being with their babies; women especially. Like somehow I’m less of a feminist because I wanna spend my time with my family. Even when I have my moments of doubt, I know I’m doing what is best for my family, and showing my son how powerful women are, and that we deserve respect.