10 Responses to 10 Things Never to Say to a Working Mother

by Birth Without Fear on June 13, 2011

I recently wrote a blog post responding to 10 Things to Never Say to a SAHM. A BWF mama shared another top 10 list with me from Redbook, but this time for working mothers. I want to always be as fair as I can, so I though I’d share my first thoughts to this new list.

Here is the top 10 list and my responses:

1. “It must be hard missing all those special moments every day.”

I actually get many special moments with my child. It must be hard missing all those special moments every day for you…since you spend most of it judging me.

2. “I suppose it’s smart that you’re working. You know, in case your husband leaves you some day.”

WTH?! I suppose it’s dumb you aren’t. You know, in case your husband leaves YOU some day.

3. “I’m surprised you went back to work. Your husband seems so successful.”

You shouldn’t assume you know why I am working. Some women LIKE to work outside the home. Gasp!

4. “It’s cute when they call your nanny “Mama.””

Blank stare. Walk away…just walk away. If you just have to say something…”you should hear what I’m teaching them to call you”.

5. “I just love my kids too much to leave them during the day.”

You’re right I don’t love my kids. Did you ever think maybe for our family, I am doing what IS in the best interest of my children?

6. “Did you see Dateline? The one with the hidden camera in the day care?”

Yes! The one where all the children are happily playing, doing fun activities, and learning so many great new things. That was awesome! I am so grateful my kids are in daycare!!!

7. “I could never let someone else raise my children. But that’s just me!”

SMH! Yes, I let others make all the decisions for my children. I have nothing to do with anything…their birth day parties, celebrating milestones, homework, haircuts, what they eat, medical decisions, their friends, teaching them valuable lessons. Heck, I don’t even cuddle, hug or kiss them and forget baths, tucking them in bed, being the first face they see when they wake up or jamming out in the car to great music or talking about their day. Nope, I have nothing to do with my children.

8. “I hated my mom because she was never home after school like everyone else’s mom.”

I am so sorry for your experience. I am grateful that is not our experience as well.

9. “You must feel so guilty.”

For what…? Seriously, for what?! That’s what I thought.

10. “I wish I were as laid-back as you and could just let the housework go.”

Damn, I wish I could just be like you and not care about hurting other people’s feelings.

Obviously all of this is said in a ‘tongue and cheek’ kind of way, although I do find these comments incredibly rude and judgmental. I can relate to both sides. I am a SAHM, but I regularly think about my other passions and actually struggle with wanting to pursue those or SAH. So, I don’t judge either way and I don’t know why others do. We are all mothers, we all adore our children and want what’s best for them. We are all in different situations and each family has to find the ebb and flow that is best for them. So, let’s give each other support and understanding no matter if we stay home, work from home, work outside the home or somewhere in between.


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