I started Birth Without Fear on Facebook in May of 2010 and the blog shortly after in October of 2010. It has been a wonderful journey over the last few years. Thousands of emails, many thanking BWF for helping them in their pregnancies and births. Giving them a renewed hope or opening their eyes to options they never knew they had. Finding support they could not get anywhere else and forming new friendships with amazing women who have similar goals. Celebrating ourselves as women, planning and experiencing empowering births, and recognizing that may be different for each woman! Yes, it has been a mighty fine journey so far. Healing, uniting, growing, supporting and lovely.
So what is in store for all of us for 2013? I sat here on Christmas Eve, presents under the tree, stockings stuffed, a warm house, healthy children and Christmas music playing in the background. I soaked in all of my blessings and thought about what I want to personally acomplish this upcoming year. What I was left dwelling on was what I wanted to accomplish as a mother.
See, I have this insanely deep desire to be a successful business woman. My mind tells me that is how success in a person is measured. It’s ingrained in me. I come from a family of successful women and so I constantly feel I am not living up to this expected measure of success because I chose to stay home and have babies instead of being a doctor or high powered business woman.
However, my heart tells me otherwise. It tells me that success comes from my own home. How I am as a woman, wife and mother. What kind of children I raise. That is true success. What’s hard about this? It’s not measurable. At least not while my children are fighting over the ladybug rainboots, making messes quicker than I can pick them up (even with a cleaning lady) and starting to ask hard questions such as, “Are you actually Santa?” and “Where do babies come from.” What?! Back it up…I’m not ready for this. But they are. How can I focus on being a successful mother when I don’t feel the worth of such?
That leads me to a newfound focus for 2013 and I’m going to tie it into BWF. We will still focus on pregnancy, birth, post partum and breastfeeding, but take you into motherhood (or fatherhood) as well. That is where we need the countinuous encouragement and support. Pregnancies and births come to an end. Even breastfeeding does (even if you do breastfeed until they start school)! Motherhood…well, that stays with us forever.
Some of us are better than others at understanding that this is the most important work we will ever do and we will need to lean on you at times. Success is not measured in blog hits or how much money we make. It is measured in how we raise our children, having a long and happy marriage, centering our life around our faith/morals/values, and what we contribute to family, friends, our communities and for me…my readers.
So, are you ready? Let’s embrace our bodies, our pregnancies and births, our differences and now motherhood. Let’s help each other get through these ‘bring you to tears’ type of days (toddlers are good at that), and also share the small moments that make us smile…for those build up into years of memories that will be cherished and one day we’ll wish we could get back!
Love & Inspiration,