Birth: Nailed It

by Mrs. BWF on March 29, 2012

I recently wrote this post about BWF/myself supporting all women in their birthing choices. It’s an awesome post. Go read it (after this).

I have received a few emails recently and I want to share a little of them with you. These emails are dear to me and show the diversity of the BWF women. They show that while I share information on birth choices and am passionate about natural childbirth, support is offered to all women and the choices they make for their pregnancies and births!

 Sent in by Jessie:

Last Thursday March 22nd, 2012 I gave birth to my first child, a beautifully perfect little boy, by cesarean section. 30 weeks into my pregnancy I had finally decided I wanted a completely natural birth and was finally going to meet with my doctor for the first time to discuss my wishes. She called home birth crazy and intimidated me into not even pulling out my birth plan. I left the appointment distraught and terrified. My husband immediately found me a midwife, even though our military insurance doesn’t cover it, and we decided to go forward with a home birth.

My midwife is an amazing woman and at 36 weeks when we realized my son was breech she tried everything with me to get my little boy to flip so I could make my dream a reality. Unfortunately, because of a large abdominal scar from my own birth, baby boy couldn’t flip and after having many more mental breakdowns and yet again feeling terrified and trapped, we decided to go ahead and schedule a cesarean with our scary doctor at 39 weeks. It was the hardest decision I have ever made and frankly, I absolutely hated it but, knowing when my son was arriving made the last week exciting and less stressful for me and my entire family, who were all very concerned about my having a home birth despite how supportive they were being for my benefit. In surgery it was realized that my stomach is filled with scar tissue and my uterus is very thin which could have made a home birth much more dangerous had I gone through with it. Everything went swimmingly and I realized my doctor is a lovely woman, just a bit abrasive.

The only thing that got me through making what I, and many others agree was the right choice, was reading stories on BWF blog from other mothers put in a similar situation. My husband told me a million times that cesarean is NOT failure and I am still perfect but, actually reading the stories of others and knowing I’m not the only person to feel so helpless helped me accept reality and look forward in anticipation instead of fear.

Thank you for your wonderful blog and thank you to all the women that have share their personal stories for the benefit of others! I couldn’t have got through it without you!

*Jessie’s perfect son, little Leviathan

The next mama, ‘L’, had a traumatic hospital birth. She was afraid to email me, because she was ashamed she did not stick up for herself and make her own choices. We have emailed back and forth since her birth. She has nothing to be ashamed of. She is a wonderful mother who was surrounded by people who did not support her birth choices or respect her body. I love this mama.

I really, really can not thank you enough.  I just read your blog as well as the wall post, the comments, the encouragement has made me cry.  Before speaking with you this week, I was seriously down in the dumps.   I know now, I have NOTHING to be ashamed of.  I did what I could.   Everyone is absolutely right, this nurse and Dr. should be ashamed in themselves NOT me.

Thank you for  the way you worded things in your blog, I greatly appreciate the discretion and sensitivity from you.

*”L’s” beautiful baby boy

Of course, I love all the emails I get that are announcing the birth of their babies. When women email me telling me they learned so much about birth and themselves and had empowering births because of it…it makes all the time and energy I put into BWF feel worth it.

K sent this to me and it represents many more like it.

I’m not sure you will remember, but I messaged you a couple of weeks ago looking for some advice about how woman in my position (husband leaving them) got through the birth of a child without their support. I wanted to let you know I gave birth via VBAC to my amazing son on the 14th of November completely drug and intervention free with the support of my sister and birth photographer. It was my fastest and easiest labor (3hrs 30mins of active labor) out of the 3, with my smallest baby  at 7pounds 5ounces (my last 2 where augmented). I had the confidence to refuse all hospital policy on monitoring, etc. all thanks to you and your amazing community. Thank you so much for everything you do!

I sometimes get emails from women letting me know that because of my blog, etc., they have chosen a path in childbirth education, or a doula or even a midwife. This is from Rachel…

I would like to thank you fro the bottom of my heart. Before joining your page I didn’t know anything related to pregnancy and delivery, and now I am proud to say that I am working on my certification to become a doula. You have made me believe that a natural birth is possible for me. Before I just assumed I was “too weak” for a natural birth and now I know I can do anything I set my mind to. Thank you for making me believe in myself.

I am grateful for all of the wonderful feedback I receive. I am delighted  women support each other via BWF. I feel humbled that I am able to reach so many people and although I can not see it, it’s not completely tangible, I know that I am helping many women (and their partners) in their daily lives, pregnancies and birth.

~January

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Cindy B March 30, 2012 at 10:09 am

Blessings! *hugs*

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Rachelle March 30, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Kitty March 30, 2012 at 6:26 pm

BWF, I have to add this as well. I knew when I got pregnant that I wanted to have a completely natural childbirth. I didn’t want a home birth, didn’t have the money for a birthing center birth, and insurance paid completely for hospital births, so that is what we did, as scared as I was of being in a hospital again. The trauma I experienced with my first birth lead me to anxiety attacks about my birth. The fear I had during my pregnancy was overwhelming, then I found you, and your blog. I reached out to you via email, and I have to say, that you were straight to the point. The non nonchalant attitude you had about changing my OB/GYN was astounding and very inspirational. Because of that I was able to talk to my OB/GYN about anything without fear of “losing” her. It gave me a since of control about everything, and that is what I needed. Because of that, I was at peace in my last month of pregnancy. Without any interventions, I went to the hospital, dilated to an 8, arguing with my husband that I wasn’t far enough along in labor to go at that point. My birth team by my side, we made it clear my intentions for the birth and all of my requests were met by both the nurses and doctors and I had a beautiful birth. One that I am both in awe of and in love with. I honestly believe that it was that empowerment of knowing that it’s my body, and choice and my right that you gave me, both through your emails and your blog, that made my birth, not a frightening, but an enjoyable experience. I never got to say thank you. So thank you. It really did mean a lot to me, and you need to know that. Amelia Rose Catharine was born 11-12-11, 7lbs 2oz, 19 inches long at 40 weeks +1, happy, healthy, and a little firecracker.

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Mrs. BWF March 30, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Kitty,

Thank you very much for your comment/feedback. It means a lot to me and is very appreciated. I am so happy your had a wonderful and supported natural hospital birth! YOU made that happen. Congratulations on your birth and your sweet baby girl.

Much love,
January

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Loraine March 31, 2012 at 12:11 am

Mrs BWF,
I just cannot express how thankful I am for you and your blog!! :)

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Jennifer August 7, 2012 at 11:03 pm

beautiful. no birth is ever a failure.

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